Bob Tamasy
Recently I took our grandson Mac to a summer camp program at his school. As I was registering him, a teacher handling the sign-in sheet asked if I was Mac’s grandfather. Then he asked if I was his mom’s or dad’s father.
When I replied that I was the father of Mac’s mom, Sarah, the teacher said something that warmed my heart.
“Oh, then you’re also Becca’s dad (another of my daughters). I’ve had both of her daughters in my classes, and they’re really good kids.” (Cue proud smile!)
Although I appreciated the compliment, I can’t take the credit. My daughters and their husbands do all the hard work, raising and trying to properly guide their children – our grandchildren, of whom I’m admittedly very fond. Nonetheless, it was nice to hear someone speaking well of our family.
Once upon a time, families took great care to ensure the protection of their “good name.” Family members understood their words and actions reflected not only on themselves, but also on the reputation of their parents and siblings.
There’s a huge difference between an enthusiastic “Hey, look, here come the McDougals!” and, “Uh-oh, here come the McDougals!” Our reputations precede us.
But is a good name all that important? Does it really matter what people think of us and our families? The Bible says it matters a lot. For instance, Proverbs 22:1 declares, “A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.”
King Solomon, who wrote much of Proverbs and is widely regarded as the author the book of Ecclesiastes, also asserted, “A good name is better than fine perfume…” (Ecclesiastes 7:1). Perhaps this is because you can always buy silver, gold or fine perfume; you can’t purchase a good name.
So, how do we earn – and maintain – a good name? It’s not a one-time thing. We have to be consistent, steadfast in our resolve to speak words and do things that reflect positively on who we are. Proverbs 25:9-10 offers this caution: “If you argue your case with a neighbor, do not betray another man’s confidence, or he who hears it may shame you and you will never lose your bad reputation.”
Since one’s reputation and good name are so closely linked, the same can be said of both: It takes a lifetime to build a solid reputation (and good name), but they can be destroyed in a single moment of foolish or reckless behavior.
We need to have a clear understanding of those values we hold dear and the principles that dictate how and why we do and say what we do. Acting like one type of person in one setting but behaving like someone entirely different in a different environment is no way to build a good name – or solid reputation. Social chameleons aren’t known for their good names.
We’re advised in Proverbs 3:4, “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.” (Proverbs 3:4).
The psalmist presents us with this wise observation: “How can a young man make his way pure? By living according to [God’s] word…. I have hidden Your word in my heart that I might not sin against You” (Psalm 119:9-11). Interestingly, King David of Israel, who wrote many of the psalms, apparently didn’t always keep this admonition in the forefront of his mind, given his tragic moral lapses.
So, it seems a good name is something we should always be striving to establish and protect, but there’s no time to let down our guard. The junkyard of reputations has been filled by folks who seemed to be living upright lives – until the time they didn’t.
Putting the interests of others is one powerful means for avoiding calamitous stumbles. As the apostle Paul wrote, “‘Everything is permissible’ – but not everything is beneficial. ‘Everything is permissible’ – but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others” (1 Corinthians 10:23-24). If we can succeed at doing this consistently, our good name mostly likely will remain secure.
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Robert J. Tamasy is a veteran journalist, former newspaper editor and magazine editor. Bob has written, co-authored and edited more than 15 books. These include the newly published, ”Marketplace Ambassadors”; “Business At Its Best: Timeless Wisdom from Proverbs for Today’s Workplace”; “Tufting Legacies,” “The Heart of Mentoring,” and “Pursuing Life With a Shepherd’s Heart.” A weekly business meditation he edits, “Monday Manna,” is translated into more than 20 languages and sent via email around the world by CBMC International. The address for his blog is www.bobtamasy.blogspot.com. His email address is btamasy@comcast.net.