Roy Exum: In The Court Of Public Opinion

Friday, July 12, 2013 - by Roy Exum
Roy Exum
Roy Exum

I am feel certain that there are a lot of 54-year-old guys who would have said, “Sure … no problem … we swim nek-ked here all the time!” like that man in Crossville probably did the other day when a woman who lives nearby asked if she could go skinny-dipping in his pool. And I am sure there are a lot of guys who would have been glad to help towel her off, especially after she got wet the second time and enlisted his help twice instead of once.

But I can’t name a soul I know who would have had the brass to call the cops after becoming the biggest pigeon of the year. You see, the boyfriend – instead of fetching Bathsheba’s smokes – was allegedly inside Stephen Amaral’s house, grabbing up his jewelry, his medicine and an old pistol that Amaral once used as a deputy down in Mississippi. It was a masterful scam.

Best of all was what Amaral told TV station WKRN: "I went and got her a towel, she dried off and all of a sudden she was soaking wet again," Amaral told a reporter. "I escorted her outside and invited her to church, but she said she didn't have time for that, she wasn't ready for that."

You can’t make this stuff up. Amaral said he lost $1,195 in valuable possessions during his 20-minute stint as a lifeguard, “"They cleared me out and I just feel violated," Amaral said.

Thus far, the police have yet to corner the neighborhood entrepreneurs.

Now, only if you think that is as funny as I do, allow me to share “comments” that I gleaned from the nation’s readers in various national publications regarding this matter. I call it the Court of Public Opinion:

* * *

-- I would never fall for something like this. If it sounds too good to be true, it is!

-- She asked me if she could take of her clothes and I said, sure"...."then I asked her to church"...LOL

-- I'm from Tennessee and honestly embarrassed that this dummy would even admit what he did.

-- He watched her swim naked for 20 minutes, but HE felt violated. Does that fall under the Karma umbrella?

-- Men are so easy!!!

-- It's never free, is it!

-- “To the Sirens first shalt thou come, who bewitch all men, whosoever shall come to them. Whoso draws nigh them unwittingly and hears the sound of the Sirens’ voice, never doth he see wife or babes stand by him on his return, nor have they joy at his coming; but the Sirens enchant him with their clear song, sitting in the meadow, and all about is a great heap of bones of men, corrupt in death, and round the bones the skin is wasting.” (Homer, The Odyssey)

-- The heat of your rear will scorch your brain.

-- I love it. Stupidity all the way around. Assuming the homeowner got his stuff back, and the enterprising couple will land in jail, I'm thinking the homeowner got the best of it. A free show, a bit of embarrassment, and he got to help take two dumb criminals off the street. All without firing a single round. A good day in Tennessee.

-- I wonder if you did that backwards what would happen -- "Hello Ma’am, I'd like to swim naked in front of you while my old lady ransacks your house (sure, come on in you pervert, start stripping while I dial 911, and tell that trailer-trash wife of yours to stay off my sofa.)

-- I would love to have seen the police officer's face as the victim relayed what happened.

-- I live in that subdivision and I let a husband swim nude in my pool this morning. I helped him undress and held his clothes while his wife went home...OMG, where is all of my stuff?

-- I'm planning on going to this idiot's house in January and sell him some snow.

-- I hope the authorities stay ''a-breast'' of the information given in this case.

-- I just hope the couple isn't his sister and brother-In-law.

-- "Sir, could you tell us what her face looked like?" "To be honest officer, I couldn't tell you for certain whether she even had a head."

-- People, People … Please this is serious for it has happened to me seven times this year already.

-- It's the only robbery I've ever heard of where the lookout and the victim were the same person.

-- The 11th Commandment. Thou shalt love thy neighbor but don't get caught.

-- I need to see pictures of the woman to determine if a crime was committed.

-- He watched her for 20 minutes? And the nude show cost him $1195? This perv deserved the loss. He must be a seasoned creeper.

-- Wait a minute!....he says "I went and got her a towel, she dried off and all of a sudden she was soaking wet again," WHAT? Excuse me? All of a sudden she was soaking wet again? WHAT does THAT mean? How the heck did THAT happen? Stupid way it's written makes it sound like her water broke? Strange way of writing an article... just sayin'....

-- Wonder if he has a wife? I would so cut my husband's manhood off if he pulled something like this. Oh, invited her to church, did ya? Suuuuuuuure.

-- This guy sounds like one of Tennessee’s brighter guys.

-- He escorted her outside and invited her to church. PRICELESS!!!!

-- I suppose he invited her to church due to him probably thinking she was baptized in his pool.

-- I actually invite people over to skinny dip in my pool. So far nobody seems to be interested. I think I might need to adjust the placement of the cameras.......

-- The whole story seems a wee bit fishy.... Seriously it doesn't make a lot of sense. I can see being used as a distraction but our former deputy seems an odd duck.

SCAM WARNING FOR MEN: Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven’t heard about it. A ‘heads up’ for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe’s, Home Depot, Costco, Sam’s Club, and even Wal-Mart. This one caught me totally by surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don’t be naive enough to think it couldn’t happen to you or your friends.

Here’s how the scam works:

Two beautiful, college-aged girls will come over to your car or truck as you are packing your purchases into your vehicle. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts falling out of their skimpy T-shirts (It’s impossible not to look). When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say ‘No’ but instead ask for a ride to McDonald’s. You agree and they climb into the vehicle. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen June 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th. Also July 1st & 3rd, twice on the 4th, 6th, 8th, today, and very likely again before this weekend. So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of us. Warn your friends to be vigilant. 

royexum@aol.com


Roy Exum: Let’s ‘Pay It Forward’

At 7 a.m. on Wednesday morning, this at a Starbucks coffee store located at 2186 Tyrone Blvd. in St. Petersburg, Fla.,  an unidentified woman who was first in line at the drive-through window, politely told the drive-through window clerk she would like to “pay it forward.” The clerk checked the next order – it was a caramel macchiato – and the first customer paid for both her ... (click for more)

Families In Public Schools Fight Common Core, But Won't Get Out

The alarm among Christians who patronize government-run schools has a clear cause. Common Core, the name of the latest spate of reform, promises further control by Washington. What are moms and dads to make of the opposition to Common Core, particularly if they are Christian or home educators? How worked up should we get?  We’ll let Tony Perkins of a Washington G Street ... (click for more)

Jury Finds In Favor Of Texas Sheriff In Suit Brought By Chattanooga Photographer

A Federal Court jury on Friday found in favor of a Texas sheriff and his chief deputy who had been sued by a Chattanooga photographer. The jury in the courtroom of Judge Curtis Collier awarded no damages to Donna Johnson. In his closing argument after a two-week civil trial, attorney John Anderson said, "This is about the Fourth Amendment." Attorney Anderson represented Ms. ... (click for more)

Justin Wilkins Selected As Deputy Chief Of Staff For Mayor Berke

Native Chattanoogan Justin Wilkins will serve as Mayor Andy Berke's deputy chief of staff, it was announced Friday. Mr. Wilkins has spent the last several years serving as the Tennessee state director for multiple advocacy and electoral organizations, including Organizing for America and Organizing for Action. Prior to that, he worked as project manager at Profit Plans LLC ... (click for more)

Signal Mountain "Grounds" East Hamilton, 28-19

Signal Mountain was determined to run the football and take time off the clock Friday night in the second half of its 28-19 non-district victory over rival East Hamilton before a standing-room-only crowd at Hurricane Hill. “That’s our kind of football,” Eagles coach Bill Price said after the season opening game for both teams. “It was a tough football game and we just got out ... (click for more)

Maynor Leads Soddy Daisy Past Hixson, 49-36

If you wanted to see a lot of offense in a high school football game, then you should have been at  Soddy Daisy's Robert Talaska Field Friday night. Defense was all but non-existent on either side as the host Trojans took advantage of five touchdown passes from southpaw senior quarterback Hunter Maynor to outlast the Hixson Wildcats, 49-36. The last two minutes of the ... (click for more)