Buffalo Wild Wings – Where The Wild Things Are

Wednesday, December 17, 2014 - by Willie Mae

It is no secret that old folks forget things often and such was the case when I planned to have lunch with my son Jack the same week that I had told Lois that she and I would go.

When I explained to Jack what I had done he told me that if Lois didn’t mind him tagging along that we could all go together. He had been out of town and we really wanted to visit, but Lois had company coming in the next week so it seemed like a good idea. I called to tell her the plan.

Lois and I were going to meet Jack at a place called Terra Nostra on Frazier.

When we found it I pulled in the back and I thought we could walk in through the gate, but it was nailed shut! Why do they have a gate if they are going to nail it shut? I didn’t say a word, I just minded my own business. Lois and I made it to the front where this burley white-bearded man stood waiting.

It was Jack! He had gone and grown a beard since I last saw him and it was pretty wild looking. Yessiree, it was long and he looked like a pirate!

He told us the place was not open so we needed to find somewhere else to go, but I couldn’t think - I was still in shock wondering what he had done with my boy.

We piled in Jack’s car and drove around to find another restaurant. Jack would name a place and I would say, “I’ve already done it.” It has been getting harder to find places that I haven’t done yet and it made me wonder if I will get to all the places in Chattanooga and should I start over and just order something different. But, I think with Chattanooga’s restaurant business there will still be places I haven’t written about yet and it seems there are always new ones popping up.

We were on Market when Jack called out to me, “Have you done Buffalo Wild Wings?” Lois grabbed my hand and started shaking her head nervously.

I got tickled at her because she started whimpering and her forehead wrinkled up more than it already was. I told him I hadn’t written about it yet so he swerved the car into the parking lot before Lois had a chance to talk us out of it.

She whispered to me, “How wild IS it?” I had never been to one before so I had no idea what it was like, but I love to tease Lois so I said, “As wild as Jack’s beard.”

Jack said he had never been there either so we all were first timers.

Jack got a beard … I mean a beer and Lois and I got Cokes. A boy named Alex waited on us and he was very nice and helpful. He told us about their specials and then took the menu and showed us the picture of the hot sauce bottle that listed from the top of the bottle – the not-so-hot wings and showed us how it progressed down to the bottom of the bottle - the extremely hot wings. I thought that was a clever way to do that.

I couldn’t believe it when my boy passed up a chance to get wild and wooly with the hot wings and instead ordered the boneless ‘Honey Mustard’. He got the dry rub so it wouldn’t get in his beard. I told him how he could fix that, but he ignored me.

Lois got the ‘Jammin’ Jalapeño’ with jalapeño seasoning with a touch of tequila (it’s okay – she wasn’t driving). I went a few degrees down the bottle on the menu and got ‘Hot BBQ’. I wanted to get the ‘Wild’ that was a few degrees hotter but it said it was their classic wing sauce that had big flavor and blistering heat. I didn’t want any blisters.

And the hottest one was “Blazin” – the menu warned to keep away from your eyes, your kids and your pets. Since I had Jack with me, I decided I better not order that one either. Each of our winged meals were combos with fries and cole slaw for $14.99.

When our order arrived I could smell the Wild on my wings and I think the hair in my nostrils got a little singed. Jack forgot to let me get a picture of his before he reached for one. He put it back down, but you can tell in the picture that he disturbed the nice presentation. I didn’t say a word, I just minded my own business.

Lois liked hers, but she expected them to be hotter than what they were. She said they got hotter the more she kept eating them. Mine were perfect! Not too hot to give me blisters, but hot enough to make me have to eat with my Kleenex close by.

Lois was watching Jack eat his wings and, while she and I were constantly using our wet-nap and smacking our lips, Jack was eating nice and neat. She said to him, “You eat so daintily.”

Jack belted out a laugh and said that he would take that as a compliment. After I had been giving him grief the whole time about his beard, he finally told me why he had been growing it. He had volunteered to be Santa for a community event this year, but he won’t let me tell which one so I will just mind my own business… but if you see a tall Santa with a real beard – that’s probably Jack! I will be glad when he shaves it off, but I have to admit he still looked quite handsome.

The Wild wings were exciting to my taste buds (and my nostrils) and Jack and Lois enjoyed theirs too. This place wasn’t really wild at all and I’ll give it a Willie Mae “Whee-ee-doggie!”


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