Roy Exum
There is a popular tale about a man who invented the best dog food in the world. It had high nutritional value, a long shelf life, added vitamins that help dogs live longer and was USDA approved. So why wasn’t it a stunning success? The dogs hated the taste and wouldn’t dare eat the stuff.
That brings us to the much-maligned bicycle lanes that have just been installed on Broad Street. A growing number of serious bicycle riders are openly avoiding the new bike lanes and riding in the regular traffic in the belief the new lanes may well be dangerous.
Their view is that if a parked motorist were to suddenly open a car door, that it would obviously swing into the bike lane, and the cyclist would look much like the lady who did a “face plant” after she tripped over a barrier on Wednesday and rode in an ambulance instead of on a bicycle.
You see, passengers inside a car cannot hear a bicycle and the scenario is too easy to imagine. If the cyclist is coming from behind a parked car, very few people look both ways before opening the door. Further, if a bicycle rider sees a door suddenly open and is unable to stop, there is a chance the rider could be launched over the open door, which cannot swing any wider. Then, should the rider sue the driver or the car owner sue the cyclist?
On Friday afternoon, as the UT Marching Band stopped in Miller Park on its way to Tuscaloosa, a number of bicycles could be seen on Market Street but, in a drive down Broad Street, not one cyclist was spotted. In short, a $300,000 burden on the taxpayers ain’t working and many think riding a bicycle in a heavily-congested area that includes nine stop lights is most definitely an insult to the bicycle itself. The fun machines were never made for that.
Finally, a flaw in the construction plan did not take into account the bike lanes must be swept and maintained, just as the downtown streets are. Now it has been learned the bike areas are too narrow for maintenance equipment. As Albert Einstein once proclaimed, “Only two things are infinite: the universe and stupidity, and I am not sure about the former.”
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FROM THE INTERNET -- A woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services, when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: 'Stop! Acts 2:38!' (Repent and be Baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ, so that your sins may be forgiven.)
The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.
As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar: 'Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a Scripture to you.'
'Scripture?' replied the burglar. 'She said she had an Ax and Two 38's!'
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MY FRIEND CALEB WRITES -- The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe, before you start looking like a mental patient.
Denny's has a slogan, 'If it's your birthday, the meal is on us.' .....If you're in Denny's and it's your birthday... your life is no fun.
My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me.
My 60-year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I'm worried about the 200 lbs. I've gained.
I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters...... do they just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out"..?
Four-time NASCAR Sprint Cup champion Jeff Gordon announced that this will be his final season of racing. You could tell it was time for him to retire during his last race when he had his left blinker on the whole time.
The speed in which a woman says "Nothing" when asked "What's wrong?" is inversely proportional to the severity of the storm that's coming.
The pharmacist asked me my birthday again today....Pretty sure she's going to get me something.
On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week; whereas a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year...this is upsetting news to me...I had no idea I was Japanese.
I can't understand why women are okay that JC Penny has an older women's clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.
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THIS WEEK’S TREAT – The fact this woman speaks only in French makes this video one of my all-time favorites. Born in 1933, Francine Christophe was deported with her mother at the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp in 1944. Released the following year, she continues to share her experience and memories, particularly with the each new generation. Her story must never be forgotten. You will need some Kleenex and a piece of chocolate. Click here for the video.
royexum@aol.com