Roy Exum: ‘Ballooniac’ Fined $25K

  • Sunday, March 26, 2017
  • Roy Exum
Roy Exum
Roy Exum

The Calgary Stampede is one of the biggest events in Canada and every year it draws well over 1.5 million people to one of the most beautiful places in the world. It started in 1912 as a big rodeo event and today it lasts 10 straight days. A highlight is the chuck-wagon races, where $4 million of advertisements are sold on the wagon’s canvas covers and there are pancake breakfasts every day – 400 volunteers cooked enough flapjacks to feed a hungry 60,000 people at the Chinook Centre a couple of years ago.

So, Daniel Boria thought he had come up with a genius idea at the 2015 Stampede to promote his cleaning company. He invested about $13,000 for 120 industrial-grade balloons, strapped them to a sturdy lawn chair he found at a hardware store, and went up, up, and away. Boy, I adore guys with moxie!

He did his daring act on the biggest day of all – during the chuck-wagon races -- and his plan was to jump out of the chair and sky-dive into the race. Sometimes things don’t turn out quite like you want and last Friday an unamused judge, Bruce Frazier, accepted a $25,000 fine in lieu of prison. “The stunt was unconscionably stupid.”

"He had no radio, or transponder," the judge noted, and no way to contact Calgary air control. “He had no way to control the contraption.  If he was headed into an oncoming aircraft, he could not have diverted away from it nor could the aircraft have avoided him. A collision could have disabled the aircraft in a number of ways causing it to fall and crash,” said Frazier.

“Not only would there have been a loss of lives of those people on the aircraft, the crash would have been in a densely populated metropolis, risking the lives of those on the ground.”

I’ll say. Once the jokester released the tethers the balloon, the chairs, and a laughing Boria shot straight up, gaining between 500 and 1,000 feet per minute. Air control lost sight of Boria about 7,000 feet once he got into the clouds and he thinks he was at 15,000 feet when he bailed, and deployed his parachute. He used a portable oxygen tank after about 13,000 feet. A Calgary police unit found him with a sprained ankle in an industrial park with a delighted grin on his face.

Before he appeared for trial, his lawyers and the Crown’s prosecutors worked a deal where he would be fined $5,000 “for the trouble he caused” and give an additional $20,000 in a donation to the Red Poppy Fund for war veterans. Boria was contrite and apologized to the judge but one he got outside the courthouse he couldn’t wipe the grin off his face. “They didn’t fine the Wright Brothers,” he quipped.

Boria even adapted a mock-Boston accent to repeat the words of John Kennedy announcing the space program, saying JFK’s memorable line, “We chose to go to the moon!”

“I have remorse, I understand that we did cause a little bit of danger, but at the same time when you text and drive they don't charge you as if you've hit a whole bus of kids," he said.

Boria saw two passenger jets fly underneath his chair and admitted to reporters he is working towards his hot-air balloon license so next time he will be legal. He tried to hire pilots from Canada and the United States to take him up to skydive into the chuck-wagon race but every year there are so many at the Stampede it is a no-fly zone.

“We planned the whole thing out really well ... we knew what we were doing," he said. “I said I apologized and understand some of the danger that I may have caused and I really do apologize for wasting everybody's time."

On the other hand, the Canadian dare-devil said it was a blast. “I have the greatest story to tell for the rest of my life,” said Boria, who is 27. He also explained why it was hard to keep from laughing, “It’s pretty hard to take it seriously when you guys are asking me these questions based on me flying a lawn chair lifted by helium balloons.”

* * *

FIVE OF THE VERY BEST RIDDLES

(The Answers Are at The Bottom)

1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in three years. Which room is safest for him?

2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over five minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But five minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?

4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?

5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.

THE ANSWERS

1. The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.

2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry (shot; held under water; and hung).

3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.

4. Sure you can name three consecutive days -- yesterday, today, and tomorrow!

5. The letter "e" which is the most common letter used in the English language does not appear even once in the paragraph.

royexum@aol.com

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