Bob Tamasy: Finding Love By Getting Lost

Monday, February 12, 2018 - by Bob Tamasy
Bob Tamasy
Bob Tamasy

As another Valentine’s Day approaches, and many of us reflect either on the love we have or the love we desire, I think of an intriguing statement a young woman made about how to find that right person. She said, “A girl should be so lost in the Lord that a guy has to seek Him to find her.”

Today, as has always been the case, people look for the love of their life in a variety of places: In class, if you’re a student, at work, the gym or other athletic activities, in bars, the supermarket; and increasingly, online. Searching, searching, desperately hoping and expecting Mr. or Ms. Right to suddenly pop up out of nowhere.

But could it be that most people are, to borrow from the Johnny Lee tune featured in the film, “Urban Cowboy,” are “looking for love in all the wrong places”? Perhaps, as the young woman suggested, we all would be well-advised to get “lost” so we can be found?

I didn’t hear how she elaborated on her meaning, but suspect she meant that as we grow more deeply committed to – and in love with – God, He will bring us together with the person best suited for us, one who shares the same beliefs, convictions and motivations. Someone whose life is grounded in the person of Jesus Christ, who enables us to love beyond anything we could imagine.

Most of us are familiar with the biblical declaration, “God is love” (1 John 3:16), but it’s important to understand this within its context: And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.” This says to experience true love – not the superficial forms of love we see depicted in the entertainment media that are either sappy and sentimental, or solely sensual – it must be drawn from the Lord, the author and source of love.

Psalm 37:4 offers the assurance, “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” In Jeremiah 33:3 we’re told, “Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.” And Ephesians 3:20 declares that God is “able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.”

All these tell me that if we’re sincerely seeking love, not the counterfeit we often see portrayed, we’ve got to look to God first. Otherwise we’re indeed looking for love in all the wrong places. This applies to the individual still looking for that right person, because ultimately that right person is the Lord Himself. But it also applies to people caught in a difficult or loveless marriage, as well as those who would consider themselves happily married, but yearning for an ever deeper, more fulfilling love with their mate.

My wife and I are closing in on our 44th anniversary, and the path hasn’t always been smooth. Lots of bumps have impeded our progress at times. But I can say without question the love we have today far surpasses what we had during those early, euphoric days of “being in love.” The love we have for each other truly is, as Ephesians 3:20 states, immeasurably more that all I could have asked or imagined.

Delighting ourselves in the Lord has in no way diminished our love for one another. It’s deepened and enhanced it, in ways we could never have dreamed.

So, on Valentine’s Day, if you know you’ve succeeded in finding the love of your life, congratulations. But don’t take it for granted – keep working at it to make it even stronger. If you’re still looking, make certain you’re not looking in all the wrong places. As the young woman wisely advised, get so lost in the Lord so that he (or she) must seek Him to find you.

After all, as the Scriptures tell us, “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:9).


Robert J. Tamasy is a veteran journalist, former newspaper editor and magazine editor. Bob has written hundreds of magazine articles, and authored, co-authored and edited more than 15 books. These include the newly re-published, “Business At Its Best,” “Tufting Legacies,” “The Heart of Mentoring,” and “Pursuing Life With a Shepherd’s Heart.” He edits a weekly business meditation, “Monday Manna,” which is translated into more than 20 languages and distributed via email around the world by CBMC International. To read more of Bob Tamasy’s writings, you can visit his blog,, or his website (now being completed), He can be emailed at

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