Roy Exum: Low Temps Make Me Vent!

Sunday, May 18, 2014 - by Roy Exum
Roy Exum
Roy Exum

Saturday’s lousy weather didn’t seem fair. There is no way it is supposed to be 48 degrees on South Broad Street in Chattanooga at noon on May 17th. While Mark Twain was right when he said, “Everybody talks about the weather but there is nothing anybody can do about it,” my shivers put me in the mood to vent so here’s what I think about when things go awry:

I’VE HAD QUITE ENOUGH OF THE Michael Sams’ “I Am Gay” Tour. I have no fault with the fact he is the first person to declare he’s a homosexual in the NFL but I don’t consider him a hero for announcing it. I respect him as a person and feel he should return the respect instead of kissing his lover on ESPN to the disgust of a majority of Americans. Get some class.

I AM ALSO FED UP with our sensationalists who decide headlines, such as “Michael Sams, Other Rams Report for Practice.” How’s this one: “Cressida Bonas Doesn't Get Mad At Prince Harry, She Gets Even In Body-Hugging Gown.” Another? “Hundreds Strip Down And Reveal Their Hidden Tattoos For Gorgeous Photo Project.” Gorgeous???

NICK SABAN WAS ASKED a question by a Nashville reporter the other day and was quoted as replying, “Why did you ask me something like that? Kiss my a**!” Wow, that really makes you want to cheer for Alabama. What about the hundreds of kids who look to him as a role model? The next thing you know kids will be saying that to their parents and teachers. What makes that funny is that the world’s other czar, Russian President Vladimir Putin, actually signed a law that bans profanity in movies, plays and books a couple of weeks ago.

SAY WHAT YOU WILL about LSU football coach Les Miles but minutes after graduation ended in Baton Rouge several days ago, Les walked through the crowd telling graduates how proud he was of them. He must have posed for photos with hundreds of kids in caps-and-gowns and spent several hours just telling students he appreciated all their hard work and diplomas.

IT IS A GOOD THING I am not the president of the United States. While we not be able to find that lost airplane, I’d have already sent the Army Rangers and the Navy Seals to free those kidnapped Nigerian girls. I’d deduct the cost of the operation from the foreign aid we give the countries who consistently vote against us in the UN.

I AM STILL GLOWING over Tennessee coach Butch Jones and what he did after speaking at the “Steak and Burger” Dinner for the Chattanooga Boys and Girls Club. Johnny Shulman was trying to get some big donors and Butch, sensing a lull in the action, told the new McCallie basketball coach, “Put me down for $3,000!” Wow!

A HORRIBLE TRAGEDY WILL soon come to light at proud Calhoun High School and I am whispered an after-the-prom party will probably haunt this year’s graduating class for years. The details are so tawdry every mother and father within arm’s reach of a teenager needs to caution that this world in which we now live is every bit as bad as what they watch every night on television. Stay on high alert because things can go sour in the blink of an eye.

FABLED SPORTS WRITER Rick Reilly has a new book out and the title is typical Reilly: The new book’s cover reads, “Tiger, Meet My Sister … and other things I probably shouldn’t have said.”

HOURLY WORKERS CAN PROTEST minimum wages all they want to in this country but why didn’t they listen when teachers and community leaders were protesting when some dropped out of school and did everything else that dictated an entry-level job? If I had been a principal in Atlanta I would have marched the entire student body to the fast-food protest and yelled, “This is what happens to people who don’t know how the read and write!”

PAUL RAY, A POLITICIAN IN UTAH, is saying we should bring back the firing squad to executions after the botched lethal injection in Texas. Ray is right when he says it is hard to botch up a firing squad. Tim Cavanaugh, writing in the National Review, says we can’t kid ourselves that executions are “painless, sterile medical procedures” and is right when he adds, “The more you try to make an execution seem civilized and bloodless, the more you drain it of rage and terror, and the more barbaric it becomes.”

IN THE PAST FIVE YEARS America’s high school seniors have shown no improvement in math or reading, according to the National Assessment of Educational Progress. In short, the test scores in 2009 are the same as today. The group also says the skills have widened between whites and blacks, not because whites have gotten better but because scores by black kids have fallen.

A KID IN FLORIDA posted a YouTube video with the title of “Me Driving Like An Idiot” that showed him hitting four cars and injuring five people. The bewildered cops got the video, trailed it to the braggart, and told him how much they appreciated his help in apprehending himself! You can educate ignorance but stupid is forever.

A THOUSAND THANKS are being said to the heavens by the families of the 24 campers who will attend Orange Grove Camp at Double G Ranch, thanks to hundreds of total strangers who sent last-minute donations so everybody could go. The next time something in your life goes wrong, remember the week that we got it right.

JEB McGRUDER’S DEATH at age 79 sure made me feel old. He was sentenced to seven months in prison after getting caught up in the Watergate scandal but, lordy, that was over 40 years ago! He later became a Presbyterian pastor and never flaunted the fact he was famous when President Richard Nixon was run out of office.

FORMER ALABAMA quarterback A.J. McCarron, who has signed with the Cincinnati Bengals, still plays to wed girlfriend Katherine Webb in a reality TV-type wedding, but – get this – in McCarron’s junior year he befriended a young black girl at a South Alabama Hospital when he gave out Christmas presents to kids with cancer. The little girl – a black kid named Starla Chapman -- gave A.J. a plastic bracelet he wore in the bowl game that said, “Just Trust.” Today Starla is in remission and the two lovebirds have asked her to be a flower girl in the wedding.

royexum@aol.com



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