Charles Siskin
Right knee, left knee, bended knee, replacement knee, fake knee!
After many indecisive years I bit the proverbial bullet and had my right knee replaced recently.
I must have forgotten how painful the first surgery on my left knee had been.
Forgetting is a major part of growing old and I have taken it to new levels.
Actually after 15 years since my first surgery remembering anything is a major accomplishment
I thought the second surgery would be a snap considering all the progress that had been made in medicine the ensuing years.
Wrong!
To begin with you are not allowed to lie in bed after the surgery and feel sorry for yourself, which I consider a major part of the healing process.
Also grown men don’t cry, they just suck it up as I remember from my time in the military. They also don’t scream when the PT person tries to pull your knee back further than you consider “Far enough!!”
Also, there are no lollipops for being a good boy.
One other thing I should warn you about is the lack of modesty in the hospital. You are given a regulation gown that does not allow you to tie it in the back. Consequently, you need to be on your guard in case someone bursts into your room like the doctor or his accomplice, the PA - alias the nurse.
Appears today as if everyone and everything goes by initials. Suffice it to say the PA is the person I saw most often in my brief overnight stay. Nice person but did not offer me anything for pain stronger than an aspirin.
Who did I look like, the Bayer guy?
Did no one realize I was in mortal pain? Okay maybe not mortal but the kind of pain you receive when you see your bill for medical services upon checking out of the hospital and discover your insurance doesn’t cover everything.
Furthermore, I expect I will be ready to enter a 5K soon. At least that is what the PT person predicts.
Then again that same person tries to get you to climb stairs.
That might be a goal if you are considering throwing yourself off the second floor balcony.
Doing deep knee bends is a joke but unfortunately I was not laughing.
In the meantime, how about a lollipop ?