I Will Lead The Riot If We Lose Nikki's

Sunday, January 12, 2020

Don't eat since breakfast and close your eyes. Relax. Loosen your belt and let your shoulders, neck, arms and everything else just gooooooo. But don't fall asleep like I do when I act like that. 

Whilst in this heightened and elevated state of ahhhhhh, I want you to imagine a nice, fat, white, bun with the perfect amount of mustard and mayo and iceberg lettuce and a fat boy tow mattah and a big boy un youn (correctly pronounced urn yawn) on a hot slab of ground beef that has two slices of crispy bacon and some sharp cheddar and the whole thing is being squeezed together on one of those hot sandwich irons that make the top and bottom of the bun all crispy-wispy. Then they slice it in two and poke it with tooth picks and the juice ooozes and they put a bunch of you can't get anything better than these onion rings in the whole world in the middle of it all. Then the nice lady says "Here ya go Honey. You're drinkin' Coke? Right?" 

I like being called Honey. Nowaday women don't like it when you call then that but it makes me feel like a sexy young boy and we all know that's a long gone fat lie but I don't care. I thought women wanted to be sexy? What's up with that? Today, I was a Honey and sexy and it was all good. 

That is until my mouth took a hold of various sections of the above described combo of Godly flavors known around here as a Nikki burger with a side a rangs. You put your own ketchup on it. All over it. When that happened, I became Pop Eye and spinach. Oyster and a cracker. Yin and yang and bourbon and soda Superman and Batman and Robin, all with decently non-enhancement pants on. Oh boy! Sooooo very, very good!

So yeah, the atmosphere at Nikki's is great but it don't taste like Heaven on Earth. What about the burgers and rings and fries and KILLER shrimp??? What will happen if that all goes away? I fear there will be blood in these River City streets. There will. I will lead the riots. 

So what about it Nikki's? Think of Field of Dreams where Shoe-less Joe Jackson whispers into Keven Costner's ear: "If you build it, they will come." Surely there's another place for you in the North Shore? Just move all of your stuff, the sandwich irons in particular, to another spot?  Come on man, what say?

Savage Glascock      


Remember The Role Of Kim White And Erskine Oglesby In The BID

Roy Exum: “Where’s The POD At?”

Why I Chose D'Andre Anderson


Kim White and Erskine Oglesby, mayoral candidates in the upcoming City of Chattanooga mayoral race, engaged in and promoted an increase in the expense of owning property and in owning and operating ... (click for more)

The state of Tennessee has been allotted “about 80,000” doses of COVID vaccine a week for the entire state since the first ‘public” vaccinations began roughly three weeks ago, this according ... (click for more)

Choosing a candidate in today’s political environment is harder than it has ever been. The process today requires us to look through the empty promises, the false activism, and, in many cases, ... (click for more)



Opinion

Remember The Role Of Kim White And Erskine Oglesby In The BID

Kim White and Erskine Oglesby, mayoral candidates in the upcoming City of Chattanooga mayoral race, engaged in and promoted an increase in the expense of owning property and in owning and operating a business in the city’s downtown area. I n 2018, while President and CEO of the River City Company, Kim White and Erskine Oglesby as a board member of the River City Company, promoted, ... (click for more)

Roy Exum: “Where’s The POD At?”

The state of Tennessee has been allotted “about 80,000” doses of COVID vaccine a week for the entire state since the first ‘public” vaccinations began roughly three weeks ago, this according to Bill Christian, a spokesman for the Tennessee Department of Health. But –wait! -- as of Thursday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention claim 656,550 doses have been distributed ... (click for more)

Breaking News

Health Department Announces More 1st And Second Dose COVID Vaccinations; For Phases 1a1, 1a2 And Adults 75+ by Appointment Only

The Hamilton County Health Department has received additional shipments of the COVID-19 vaccine and has added days to the appointment system. The new first dose vaccinations will be at the Tennessee Riverpark Hubert Fry Center, 4301 Amnicola Highway. Enter the Riverpark near the Chattanooga State entrance; do not enter Chattanooga State. Look for signs. This is for individuals ... (click for more)

Body Of Theresa Parker Finally Found Near Sequoyah Nuclear Plant After Canoe Accident

Crews recovered the body of missing boater, Theresa Parker of Hamilton County, around 2:30 p.m. on Sunday. Recovery efforts had been underway since Friday, when Ms. Parker and two others capsized a canoe on Chickamauga Lake near Sequoyah Nuclear Plant. There were no life jackets aboard the canoe. Responding crews found one man on shore and boat crews found one ... (click for more)

Sports

UTC Wrestlers Win Over Citadel, Gardner Webb

The University of Tennessee at Chattanooga wrestling team posted two wins in a tri-meet at Gardner-Webb today. The Mocs defeated The Citadel 17-15 and Gardner-Webb 23-13 to improve to 4-2 overall and 2-0 in Southern Conference action. Gardner-Webb is an affiliate member of the SoCon in wrestling and hosted the matches in Boiling Springs, N.C. Both were broadcast on ESPN+ with ... (click for more)

UTC's Five-Game Win Streak Comes To An End At Furman

The University of Tennessee at Chattanooga fell 52-46 at Furman Sunday afternoon in Southern Conference women’s basketball action, snapping the Mocs five-game win streak. UTC moves to 7-5 overall and 2-1 in league play while Furman improves to 5-7 on the year and earn its first SoCon victory to improve to 1-2. The Mocs got out to a quick start leading 11-4 in the opening frame, ... (click for more)