The evolution of religion since the invention and installation of air conditioning in churches has led to a demise in wooden and paper fans to make parishioners more comfortable while listening and participating in the “spreading of the gospel.”
The wearing of apparel of today’s preachers has also changed in many of the tabernacles of faith as some modern-day leaders of the flock have started wearing tee-shirts and jeans rather than the suits donned by old time local preachers, Lee Robertson, Ben Haden, Fred Steelman, etc.
Electric guitars have been added to the piano and organ playing of gospel music.
The annual poll of the number of Americans who have either joined or abandoned the traditional role of the worship of God continues to fluctuate.
Lewis Grizzard did not ignore the fact that the up and down trends of church attendance fluctuated between “the takers” and the “leavers” were split something like 50-50.
In his 1980 Best Seller “Won’t You Come Home Billy Bob Bailey, (Peachtree Publishers) he discussed the use of the traditional wooden church fans that were “always available in the hymnal racks on the backs of pews.”
His “Ode to a Church Fan” column was favorably recognized when he received nearly a hundred fans in the mail that he acknowledged and stated that his sort of work did have its benefits.
A non-air-conditioned Baptist-Methodist temple of worship was a way of life in Moreland, Georgia and he made several observations that came with the fans:
1. It never bothered me to be hot in church because I thought being hot in church was a part of God’s Great Plan. Sweat it out, brother, because that’s just a sample of what awaits the backslider.
Down home on an August Sunday morning, the church is packed and the message from the pulpit is fire and brimstone, and the congregation squirms as one.
You can feel the fire. You can smell the brimstone, and the closer the preacher gets to the everlasting flames, the faster the fat ladies in their print dresses fan themselves.
2. But there were other uses for church fans besides fanning away the Devil and the dog-day heat. You could swat noisy children and flies with church fans.
3. A person could also learn a lot from a church fan. I learned what heaven looks like. The fans in our church were provided by the local funeral parlor, and at election time, a politician or two would bring in a batch.
On one side of a church fan would also be printed a picture of Jesus sitting with children and a lamb or two and a pony in a soft meadow near a brook.
4. That was obviously heaven to an eight-year-old, and I would stare at that picture during the sermon and wonder if pony rides were free when you cross over Jordan. Certainly, I finally decided. That’s why they call it “heaven.”
5. On the other side would be the commercial message of the funeral parlor or the politician who had placed the fans.
“Hillside Funeral Home. All Insurance Policies Honored. Twenty-four Hour Ambulance Service. Ask About Our Chapel Rates.”
Or, “Elect Buster Knowles State Senator. Veteran, Family man. Deacon. Honest.”
(To hear the rest of the story about church fans and to enjoy the contents of the ten (10) chapters you will have to find a used copy of the book.)
There is a second reference in another of his publications that refers to the pre-AC era and the use of the cooling device when the prophets of the faith ministers was reaching back for one of those you-had-better-change-your-evil-ways sermons.
In “Shoot Low Boys – They’re Riding Shetland Ponies” (19985- Ballentine Books) he related that the “mere mention of the evils of alcohol was certain to speed up the fanning cycle and when the minister began to describe the warm climate the one who imbibed would expect at his final address, a draft, no amount of air conditioning could match would roar through the sanctuary off those paper fans.”
LG even presented a two-prong suggestion for those preachers in the present era of the demise of the paper fans that may be applicable in 2022.
1. Turn off the air conditioner in the auditorium on a hot Sunday morning and explain the major difference between the two available destinations that await all of us upon our demise; and
2. Let the congregation sweat out their decisions without the benefit of paddle fans.
(No wonder a Texas newspaper described Lewis Grizzard as “Andy Rooney with a Georgia accent!”)
* * *
You can reach Jerry Summers at jsummers@summersfirm.com)
Jerry Summers