Heavy public support demands that the words of wisdom of from Lewis Grizzard, Jr. (1947-1994) of Moreland, Georgia address the sudden on rush of glowing self accolades of incumbent and aspiring office seekers before the December 2025 qualifying deadlines for the 2026 election.
Whether it is to scare off potential opponents, raised a few thousand dollars in campaign contributions or just to pump up egos is beyond the scope of this article (sound familiar?).
Due to the seriousness of the topic and effect on the poor property tax increase victims in Hamilton County/Gig City it will be necessary to include two chapters to assist the voting public in making the most knowledgeable choices as to who should rule the dual kingdoms in the future.
In the last chapter of his best seller, “I Haven’t Understood Anything Sunce 1962- And Other Nekked Truths” (1992- Villard Books- New York City) the “Don Rickles from the South” explained his politics and exactly what he would do if he lived long enough to succeed Joseph Biden or Donald Trump as President.
The following is the first of two installments of the Grizzard political agenda for 1992 (2026?):
- WELFARE: I'm against it. I explain how to take care of people who are truly needy somewhere else in this book, but I can't remember exactly where;
- IMMIGRATION: America first, with apologies to one of my heroes Pat Buchanan;
- TRADE BARRIERS: Tell the Japs if they try to sell one more Toyota, we're cranking up the Enola Gay again. We need to continue to trade with England, however, because I own a Jaguar and might need some parts. As far as the Germans are concerned, I don't like German wines, and I got rid of my two-seater Mercedes convertible. I also figure we can make our own vodka, and there's nothing else in Name du Jour (formerly the Soviet Union) worth having. I've been there. Trust me. The same goes for France and their wines. And their food always has too much sauce on it. As far as Italy is concerned, I do have a certain fondness for Gucci shoes, but I wore Bass Weejuns exclusively for years, and I can go back to them. And North Korea can just plain kiss my butt, and I wear an American-made watch, so that's it for the Swiss. I could go on, but you should have my bent on this issue by now. Meanwhile, allow American producers to sell any- where to whoever'll buy whatever we're selling, which also brings up foreign aid.
- FOREIGN AID: Give everybody in the world who is starving some food. If one of our friends needs some weapons to battle one of our enemies, we get Schwarzkopf and go in and blow away the enemy of our friends ourselves. Cut out the middleman.
- TAX INCENTIVES FOR THE RICH: You saw what happened with the liberals' stupid luxury tax, didn't you? It was a way to get the rich, but it didn't. The luxury tax on boats,
for instance, was so high, rich people didn't buy any boats, so the boat industry went to hell and put a lot of people out of work. We ought to keep the rich as rich as possible, because nobody poor was ever able to afford to give anybody else a job.
(Obviously LG’s line of humor would offend some individuals in 2025 but isn’t that one of the privileges that Americans have under the 1st Amendment of the Constitution?)
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If you have additional information about one of Mr. Summers' articles or have suggestions or ideas about a future Chattanooga area historical piece, please contact him at jsummers@summersfirm.com)
Jerry Summers