Dan Spencer Makes Worst K-Pop in Tennessee

  • Monday, March 25, 2024
  • Alex Volz
Dan Spencer
Dan Spencer

Like most red-blooded-God-fearing-beer-drinking Tennesseans, I just can’t get enough electronic dance music from South Korea. Also known as K-Pop, it’s a genre characterized by sick techno beats, sexy dance moves, and glamourous supergroups.

Naturally I was quite excited when my Uncle Dill recommended the debut album from a local K-Pop star named Dan Spencer. Unfortunately, this Dan Spencer fella makes some of the worst K-Pop in the history of Tennessee.

Remember that magical feeling when you first heard Gangnam Style? Remember how it made you want to jump up off the sofa and dance and pop bottles in da club? Well my friend, don’t expect to get any bottles popping in da club if the DJ spins ‘Bursting With Country-Fresh Favor.’

I know what you’re thinking… ‘Bursting With Country-Fresh Flavor’ doesn’t even sound like the name of a K-Pop album. I can assure you I felt the same way when my uncle Dill first handed me a copy.

For the record my uncle Dill likes dinosaur country like Wayland Jennings, Jimmy Cash, or John Pine. This definitely looked like more of that stuff. But no, he assured me the title was ironic, and that it was definitely 100 percent K-Pop. “You’ll love it,” he said with that stupid grin.

Well, sorry Uncle Dill. I most certainly do not love it. I’ll admit that Dan Spencer does have a soulful voice, and that he writes some really idiosyncratic, plain spoken poetry that’s equally funny, sad and profound.

But where are the dope beats? Where’s the hype? Where’s the razzle dazzle and the cruise ship theatrics? He’s got one song called Marco Polo Kurt Cobain which led me to google the name Kurt Cobain. I don’t want to give anything away, but it’s incredibly depressing. Dan Spencer’s song on the subject really makes me feel that sense of loss and emptiness.

But do I want to feel that way? No, I do not! I want to get a VIP booth and some hotties and some Hennessy and party like it’s my last night on Earth. The closest Dan Spencer gets to a proper club jam is the song I Ain’t Got No Friends, which if you couldn’t guess, is about how he doesn’t have any friends. Is your booty shaking yet? Mine ain’t.

But hey, maybe you don’t like K-Pop. Maybe you’re like my Uncle Dill who enjoys bittersweet, minimal country ballads that plumb the depths of the human experience. If that’s the case, you’d probably really like this album and would really enjoy seeing him live in Chattanooga when he appears at Woodshop Listening Room on Saturday.

Not me though. I only like K-Pop, and as far as I can tell, Dan Spencer makes some of the worst K-Pop in the history of Tennessee.

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