Roy Exum: My December Garden

  • Wednesday, December 1, 2021
  • Roy Exum
Roy Exum
Roy Exum

There is one remaining bright red rose still hanging as I take my monthly walk through the garden in search of orchids and onions to hand out in the Season of Giving. The winter rye grass is mighty fine looking and once again the water table is above average. Those who feed the birds should remember to make sure they have water in the bird bath. So here we go …

AN ORCHID to Siskin Hospital for turning tragedy to triumph time and time again.

The place is simply amazing.

AN ONION to the wretched drug fentanyl and the fact overdoses are at an all-time high. Tennessee has a record number of overdoses. Nationally? Deaths rose 28 percent in the 12 months following April 2020, surpassing 100,000 for the first time.

AN ORCHID to Freeman Cooper and the many who love him.

AN ONION to those who ban books and also to those who allow vulgar trash into school libraries. Remember GIGO? Garbage in, garbage out.

AN ORCHID to Tennessee football coach Josh Heupel for a winning record (7-5) in his debut year. Next year looks promising.

AN ONION if “Mama calls;” As a quarterback, Heupel led Oklahoma to a National Championship and was a runner-up for the Heisman Award. It just so happens the Sooners are looking for a coach … and, yes, Josh is believed to be among the top candidates.

AN ORCHID to Nebraska, where unemployment is 0.1 percent, the lowest since the state began keeping data in 1976.

AN ONION to the fact 84 percent in a CBS/YouGov poll blamed the bad economy on inflation instead of leadership.

AN ORCHID to those who dare to speak out. Mark Brnovich, the District Attorney for Arizona, decreed recently, “Parents have a First Amendment right to assemble, and speak, in order to question the decisions public officials are making.”

AN ONION to the 2021 Word of the Year: vaccine.

AN ORCHID to the guy who once said, “People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.”

AN ONION to the UT student section for throwing debris onto the field during the Ole Miss game in the worst spectacle of the season.

AN ORCHID to new Florida football coach Billy Napier, who grew up in Chatsworth (Murray County), Georgia.

AN ONION to Phyllis Diller, who claimed the worst thing about office Christmas parties is searching for a job the next day.

AN ORCHID to Alexander Den Heijerto, who taught us, "If you want to be average, do what others do. If you want to be awesome, do what no one does."

AN ONION to Standard Time; 36 states want Daylight Saving Time 12 months a year.

AN ORCHID for the miracle the sordid Ghislaine Maxwell trial is not on live TV; cameras aren’t allowed in federal courts.

AN ONION for the traffic mess on South Broad Street when two lanes suddenly turn into one.

AN ORCHID for temperatures forecast in the 70s by the end of the week. As my man Cleo says, “I’ll have a chance to wash my thermals.”

and, finally,

AN ORCHID to Mark Hart who observed, “The man who built that manger had one purpose in mind … God had another. You’ll never know how far-reaching God’s plan is for your work.”

royexum@aol.com

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