Roy Exum: The Saturday Funnies

Friday, August 6, 2021 - by Roy Exum

THIS WEEK’S QUIZ

1. Who was the ancient Greek goddess of love and beauty? A. Aphrodite. B. Calliope. C. Athena. D. Calypso.
2. Which alcoholic drink is made from the leaves of the agave plant and gets its name from an area around a Mexican city? A. Tequila. B. Singani. C. Chicha. D. Kasiri.
3. What does the Q in IQ stand for? A. Quantity. B. Quorum. C. Quality. D. Quotient.
4. What is the name of Superman’s home planet? A. Argon. B. Rann. C. Krypton. D. Qward.
5. According to legend, kissing which stone in Ireland gives you the gift of the gab? A. The Blarney Stone. B. The Baloney Stone. C. The Rosetta Stone. D. The Stone of Destiny.
6. In which U.S. city is NASA’s Mission Control Center located? A. Huntsville, Alabama. B. Houston, Texas. C. Hampton, Virginia. D. Cape Canaveral, Florida.
7. What is the Latin word for “beyond”, often used as a prefix to signify an extreme? A. Extra. B. Super. C. Ultra. D. Mega.
8. Bronze is mainly an alloy of tin and which other metal? A. Brass. B. Lead. C. Iron. D. Copper.
9. In meteorology, what name is given to a line of equal pressure on a map? A. Isotherm. B. Isobar. C. Isochor. D. Isoquant.
10. Casablanca is the largest city in which African country? A. Egypt. B. Morocco. C. Tunisia. D. Algeria.

* * * 

THIS WEEK’S RIDDLE

If life gets tough, what do you have that you can always count on?
(Answers below)

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THIS WEEK’S JOKES

YOU GOT ANY DUCK FOOD?

A duck walks into a bar and says "Do you have duck food here?"
The bartender says "No" and the duck leaves.
The duck comes back the next day and says "Do you have duck food?"
The bartender says "No."
The duck comes back the next day and says "Do you have any duck food?"
The bartender says "I already told you ‘No’ three times! If you come back and ask me again, I’m going to nail your feet to the floor!"
The duck comes back the next day and says "Do you have any nails?"
The bartender says "No."
"Do you have any duck food?"

* * *

HOW TO BEAT A DRNK-DRIVING AREST

A Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular bar, hoping for a bust.
At closing time everyone come out and he spotted his potential quarry.
The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk.
He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for his car.
After trying his keys on five other cars, he finally found his own vehicle.
He sat in the car a good 10 minutes, as the other patrons left.
He turned his lights on, then off, wipers on, then off.
He started to pull forward into the grass, then stopped.
Finally, when he was the last car, he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away.
The patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the man over.
He administered the breathalyzer test, and to his great surprise, the man blew a 0.00.
The patrolman was dumbfounded. "This equipment must be broken!" he exclaimed.
"I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I am the designated decoy!"

* * * 

ONE PROBLEM LEADS TO ANOTHER

A minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled and got dentures.
The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes.
The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes.
But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes.
When asked about this, he responded.
The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk.
The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot.
The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures... and I couldn't stop talking!

THIS WEEK’S ANSWERS

1. A. Aphrodite.
2. A. Tequila.
3. D. Quotient.
4. C. Krypton.
5. A. The Blarney Stone.
6. B. Houston, Texas.
7. C. Ultra.
8. D. Copper.
9. B. Isobar.
10. D. Algeria (Balearic Islands.)

- - -

The Riddle Answer: Your fingers!

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THIS WEEK’S TOP VIDEOS

* -- Someone In Colorado Is Putting The Funniest Signs Ever, And The Puns Are Priceless CLICK HERE.
* -- Paranormal Ghost Chair Prank CLICK HERE.
* -- "Jerry, these are load-bearing walls... CLICK HERE.
* -- Final Duel with "Realistic" Audio - Once Upon a Time in the West CLICK HERE.
* -- Garth Brooks “The Dance” (The Official Video) CLICK HERE.
* -- FOCUS ON YOU EVERY DAY || Best Motivational Video 2021 CLICK HERE.

royexum@aol.com



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