Bob Tamasy
We’re on the cusp of another Father’s Day, a holiday which in the minds of many ranks a distant second to Mother’s Day. And this might be fitting, I suppose, because unless a child is adopted, the mom has had a nine-month head start in building a relationship with young Buddy or Bunny.
When a youngster falls and skins his or her knee, the first word from their mouth is usually, “Mommy!” Also, even though I haven’t seen it as much lately, I recall many televised college football games when, as the camera panned the sideline, players would turn to say, “Hi, Mom!” I can’t remember a single “Hi, Dad!” If Mom and Dad were both running for President, Mom would probably win in a landslide.
Nevertheless, Father’s Day is a noteworthy holiday, perhaps one that deserves more attention. I did a little research and found that more than 23 million children in the United States live in single-parent families. And of those, more than 14 million are living in mother-only households. I also learned that one out of every 14 children being raised by grandparents, meaning neither the mother or father is actively involved in the child’s daily life.
I have every respect for single moms, most of whom do an incredible job in trying to earn money for food, clothes, someplace to live and other necessities, along with trying to do a job of parenting that was intended from the start to be handled by two people.
As King Solomon wisely observed, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; if one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). And sometimes stumbling and falling, making mistakes, is one of the literal pitfalls of parenting.
Some factions in society today would minimize the importance of the father, citing glowing examples of single moms who are doing quite well by themselves. But studies have shown children growing up in single-parent homes face a number of disadvantages. They’re far more likely to grow up in poverty, which typically leads to a host of physical, mental and behavioral health problems. Many children have to cope with the stresses of family instability, and the list of challenges could go on.
But most important is the emphasis God in the Scriptures places on the importance of the father. While the Bible teaches both father and mother have equal value, it calls for the father to serve in primary teaching and disciplinary roles. For instance, “The Lord disciplines the one He loves, as does a father the son in whom he delights” (Proverbs 3:12).
This idea is carried into the New Testament, where we read, “Our fathers disciplined us for a short time as they thought best, but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in His holiness” (Hebrews 12:10).
At the same time, fathers are warned against being harsh or too demanding. The apostle Paul expresses this in several instances, including Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Also in Colossians 3:21, “Fathers, do not embitter [provoke or aggravate] your children, or they will become discouraged.”
Paul affirms the roles of both mother and father in the second of his letters to the ancient church of Thessalonica, drawing examples from parenting to describe his own relationship to the believers there: “…but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children…. For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God” (1 Thessalonians 2:7,11-12).
We find the father’s responsibility as teacher underscored in Deuteronomy 6:5-7. The head of the family is instructed, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” We simply can’t ignore the importance given to fathers in the Scriptures as being fundamental to the family and social structure.
In the Bible, God is always referred to as Father, including in Jesus’ model prayer (also known as the Lord’s prayer): “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name…” (Matthew 6:9). Paul also wrote, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort…” (2 Corinthians 1:3).
I hope this serves as an encouragement to all who read this, especially for dads, fully knowing their job isn’t easy. The way God created men and women, mothers as a rule are more nurturing, perhaps more sensitive and emotionally supportive. I know it’s been a stretch for me at times in helping to raise our children. I’ve made many mistakes and even now I struggle to get things right with our adult children – and their children. But we’re an important part of the overall equation; our role didn’t end with the moment of conception.
So, this Father’s Day, let’s give a shout out to all the dads out there, sometimes stumbling and fumbling along, but invaluable to the process of raising children to become responsible, productive, God-fearing adults.
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Robert J. Tamasy is a veteran journalist, former newspaper editor, and magazine editor. Bob has written, co-authored and edited more than 20 books. These include ”Marketplace Ambassadors”; “Business At Its Best: Timeless Wisdom from Proverbs for Today’s Workplace”; “Tufting Legacies,” “The Heart of Mentoring,” and “Pursuing Life With a Shepherd’s Heart.” He writes and edits a weekly business meditation, “Monday Manna,” which is translated into nearly 20 languages and distributed via email around the world by CBMC International. The address for Bob's blog is www.bobtamasy.blogspot.com. His email address is btamasy@comcast.net.