Roy Exum
Everything seems to be blooming as we enjoy our monthly ‘Walk in the Garden’ but I can’t remember when an April Fool’s Day has been this wet. In just two days last week we got 7.6 inches of rainfall, which means in the first three months of the year we’re about five inches over normal. But before you whine, there is this: two-thirds of the United States is abnormally dry or worse. Every state west of the Mississippi is thirsty and in the Southwest, a devastating mega drought has taken root and is worsening.
This is a serious problem, and 75 million Americans pray for rain every morning and every night.
Mother Nature is having a field day with us, grinning at all the April Fools that have planted their annuals with two or three nights of killing frost this week. I can tell you I’ve been suckered by that Punxsutawney groundhog three or four times so, once again, the “Chattanooga Rule of Horticulture” is plant nothing before April 15 and nothing after Oct.15.
For the record, my porch thermometer dropped 10 degrees from 4-to-5 p.m. yesterday, going from the low 60s to a predicted low 30s this morning, but we were able to gather an abundance of orchids and onions which we present on the first day of the month. Here’s our April delivery list:
AN ORCHID for the glorious news the Japanese cherry trees along the Potomac are in full bloom in Washington and baseball’s Opening Day will be welcomed at 1:05 p.m. this afternoon. That’s when the umpire will holler “Play Ball” in Yankee Stadium with Toronto visiting. Within minutes, nine other afternoon games are scheduled (Atlanta opens at Philadelphia at 3:05 p.m.) and there are four more night games today. The Braves will host the 91st All-Star Game on July 13, and the last day of the regular season is Oct. 3. Following the playoffs, the World Series will begin on Oct. 26
AN ONION to what we knew already; the CDC announced yesterday that a record number of Americans – 3,358,814 – died in 2020, the COVID pandemic pushing America’s greatest year of sorrow. COVID was reported as the underlying cause of death or a contributing cause of death in 377,883 persons but remember, this was through Dec. 31. Twice as many Americans succumbed to heart disease – 690,882 – in 2020 and another 598,932 died from cancer. The fourth leading cause for death was unintentional injuries – 192,176 – and death from strokes was fifth with 159,050. (Yes, COVID was the third leading cause of death in 2020 but, as of last night, the actual death toll of the disease since March is 552,006. This means 174,123 of those fatalities have occurred in 2021.) According to the Journal of the American Medical Association, provisional estimates indicate a 17.7 percent increase in the record number of deaths in 2020, compared with 2019, with increases in many leading causes of death. But there is great hope; with 2.5 million vaccines now being administered in the U.S. every day, Major League Baseball is planning a full 162-game schedule. The provisional number of deaths occurring in the U.S. among U.S. residents in 2020 was 3,358,814, an increase of 503 976 (17.7 percent) from 2,854,838 in 2019
AN ORCHID to Siskin Hospital and Blue Cross-Blue Shield for their patience and understanding that when you are minus your right leg and your right arm is “ornamental,” it takes a little longer to master a prosthetic leg. I’ve also learned one’s balance does not increase with age but, just you watch … I’ve got too many people pulling for me. This, too: when I swim I go in a circle but, because I know the backstroke, I can get back to my starting point. Is physics a beautiful thing or what?
AN ONION to the startling fact that more Tennesseans, in just one year, have died from the COVID-19 virus than have been killed in World War I, World War II, Korea, and Vietnam, COMBINED. As of last night, 810,529 confirmed cases of the coronavirus have resulted in 11,894 deaths. To date, 2,756,985 doses of vaccine have been administered, 992,560 have been fully vaccinated (both doses) and that’s 14.66 percent of the state population.
AN ORCHID for the bless-ed knowledge: “Only those who really care about you can hear you when you are quiet.”
AN ONION to the nauseating attacks on Asian Americans, which is totally beyond my comprehension. I can swear in my three score and 10 I have never had a negative thought – or even a hint of one – against an Asian American, or any other hyphen-American. Yet as of late, Lee Wong, an elected official in West Chester, Ohio, and a 20-year U.S. Army veteran, asked during a Town Council meeting, “Is this patriotic enough? CLICK HERE.
AN ORCHID for the handwritten and unsigned note left at my door: “Have you ever heard a crack-head say, ‘I ain’t got no money … I’m not going to smoke today.’ Of course not, they always find a way. So, are you gonna’ let a crack-head out-hustle you? Get on that leg!”
AN ONION for the fact the COVID virus caused 18 percent of this year’s college basketball games to be cancelled after it had already played havoc with college football. We’ve never seen anything like it but focus instead on this: I cannot recall reading when the pandemic killed a female or male athlete, can you?
AN ORCHID to the fact that the majority of states have now made laws where a biological male cannot compete against biological females, those who cry out it discriminates against transgender people conveniently forget there is not one law that says a person cannot compete – not one. Instead, the laws demand an athlete must stay in his own lane. Everyone is welcome to compete according to birth certificate. Boys with boys; girls with girls. No matter if a biological male thinks he is a female, a Baltimore Oriole, an Oreo cookie, or a forgotten relic of time, this is only fair. And why this ever became an issue is one of the greatest abuses of a “woke” generation ever perpetuated on any nation on earth. Remember – no one said an athlete cannot compete. Never.
AN ONION to my personal belief that Joe Biden cannot function much longer as the President of the United States. This is not political, nor in a conservative voice, but as I watch his very rare public appearances, his desperate reach to “prove” that he is not in a cognitive decline, his ‘cue cards,’ and the fact that his questions at last week’s press conference were from ‘pre-selected’ media, is breaking my heart. We have seen our closest friend’s families try just as hard to hide this disease when, in truth, we all have known what is going on. There is nothing shameful, disgraceful, or distasteful about it, no more than there is heart disease or cancer. It is a fatal disease and Alzheimer’s is the seventh leading cause of death in America. In 2020, Alzheimer’s claimed 133,382 lives. Let’s face it; no one is immune. So, I pray his departure as the leader of the greatest nation in the world will be noted for its grace and that the sun will shine on his final days.
AN ORCHID to the glamour that goes with telling the COVID virus to take a hike as the greatest golf tournament in the world begins Thursday. It is Masters week in Augusta and hoping to twist the start comes the Nation Black Justice Coalition. David Johns, upset with Georgia’s new voting laws, is betting he can ruin the Masters for his benefit. So, he’s going for a big protest and please watch as he is hooted roundly. Wrong place, wrong tournament, my friend.
AN ONION to the Oregon State Police for changing the name of a police dog. Lil Kim, it seems, is the same as a rapper named Lil Kim. The rapper was appalled he had the same name as the six-year-old police dog – the animal had no comment -- so the police agency renamed the dog as simply, Kim. The rapper said he was uncomfortable with the dog “biting people of color’ in the line of law enforcement. It is said the highly decorated animal, a Belgian Malinois, could give a rip, so idiocy was declared, and everybody is happy.
AN ORCHID to concerned parents in the United States that literally doubled the number of students being home schooled in America. The Hamilton County School Board can no longer ignore the fact many public school parents believed they are being short-changed. Most of their children cannot read at grade level.
royexum@aol.com