Roy Exum: The Saturday Funnies

Saturday, July 24, 2021 - by Roy Exum
Roy Exum
Roy Exum

Hurray for the weekly edition of The Saturday Funnies but as we put together this week’s quiz, it dawned on us that there is just one more edition before our children resume classes. We hope the weekly quiz we added this summer has been a fun part of Saturday’s giggles.

We do not actually write The Funnies. They are spawned by the funny emails we get each week from our Internet readers and simply pass along. We hope you’ll get a kick out of this edition.

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THIS WEEK’S QUIZ

Question 1: What was the name of the ship in which Captain James Cook made his first expedition to the Pacific Ocean? A. Beagle; B. Endeavour; C. Bounty; D. Endurance.
Question 2: Which naval battle between the British fleet and the combined French and Spanish fleets took place on the 21st October, 1805? A.

Battle of Waterloo; B. Battle of Trafalgar; C. Battle of Jutland; D. Battle of the Nile.
Question 3: Napoleon Bonaparte escaped from his exile on which Mediterranean island in February, 1815? A. Corsica; B. Capri; C. Sicily; D. Elba.
Question 4: Operation Overlord took place on the beaches of which region of France in June, 1944? A. Provence; B. Aquitaine; C. Burgundy; D. Normandy.
Question 5: Which U.S. president said, “government of the people, by the people, for the people” in his Gettysburg Address? A. Abraham Lincoln; B. George Washington; C. Thomas Jefferson; D. James Buchanan.
Question 6: Who was Roman emperor at the time of Christ’s crucifixion? A. Nero; B. Pontius Pilate; C. Tiberius; D. Julius Caesar.
Question 7: In what year did the Bay of Pigs invasion take place? A. 1959; B. 1961; C. 1963; D. 1965.
Question 8: What was the name of the first spacecraft to land on the moon? A. Spider; B. Eagle; C. Intrepid; D. Falcon.
Question 9: Where was the second atomic bomb dropped in World War II? A. Nagasaki; B. Hiroshima; C. Osaka; D. Yokohama.
Question 10: Which U.S. President abolished slavery? A. Thomas Jefferson; B. James Garfield; C. Abraham Lincoln, D. Andrew Jackson.

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A PSYCHIATRIST IS SCHOOLED BY A BARTENDER                                                                                                                                                                                                                          
I went to a psychiatrist and told him I’ve got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under it. I’m scared. I think I’m going crazy. "Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the psychiatrist. "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears." 

"How much do you charge?" and the doctor told him, "Eighty dollars per visit." 

"I’ll sleep on it and if needed I will come back to you," I said. 

Six months later the psychiatrist met me on the street. "Why didn’t you come to see me about those fears you were having?" he asked. "Well, eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought a new SUV." "Is that so!" With a bit of an attitude he said, "and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?" 

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed – ain’t nobody under there now!"

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THE TEACHER’S DENTAL PROBLEMS

A minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled and got dentures.
The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes.
The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes.
But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes.
When asked about this, he responded.
The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk.
The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot.
The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures... and I couldn't stop talking!

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THIS WEEK’S ANSWERS
1. B. Endeavour.
2. Battle of Trafalgar.
3. D. Elba.
4. D. Normandy.
5. A. Abraham Lincoln.
6. D. Tiberius.
7. B. 1961.
8. B. Eagle.
9. A. Nagasaki.
10. C. Abraham Lincoln.
Riddle Answer: Age.

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THIS WEEK’S BEST VIDEOS

* -- Candid Camera Classic: Show 4 Forms of ID! -- CLICK HERE.

* -- Guitar aficionados will adore the ‘break’ the late Glenn Campbell once did singing “Gentle on my mind.” CLICK HERE.

* -- The scene that Carol Burnett and Robin Williams did called “The Funeral” has delighted over 10 million hysterical people. CLICK HERE.

* -- The Bronze Cowboy is up to mischief again. CLICK HERE.

* -- 37 Best Navy SEAL Sayings (Motivational Quotes) CLICK HERE.

* -- Candid Camera Classic: One Sex Parking CLICK HERE.

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royexum@aol.com



Cast A Wider County Nepotism Net

Biden's Hands-Off Policy At The Border

Send Your Opinions To Chattanoogan.com; Include Your Full Name, Address, Phone Number For Verification


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