Diana Walters
As we age, some things become harder. Maybe we can’t do everything we used to do or can’t do them as well as we once did. Maybe we find ourselves becoming the caregiver for a loved one.
Maybe we begin losing people we love.
Life can be tough as we travel through our 60s, 70s, 80s, and beyond. Bette Davis said “Old age is no place for sissies.”
If that’s true, can we still experience thankfulness?
My brother, Don, who recently lost his wife of almost 52 years, gives thanks that he knows where his Deb is for eternity.
He gives thanks that even though he is living in a nursing facility because the V.A. does not have room for him in an assisted living yet, he can communicate and pray with elders who are much more impaired than he is. For as long as he is there, he has a mission, and he is thankful for the opportunity to make a difference.
In the small group I lead in my former workplace, residents comment about what they’re thankful for:
“I can’t live at home by myself any more, but I have a roof over my head, and enough to eat, and my family come to visit often.”
“My family are all gone, so the people in this senior community have become my family.”
“I’m grateful I can still get around even though I use a walker because of my balance. But I can walk and talk and play bingo.”
“I’m thankful I can help other residents with tasks they can’t do for themselves. I help my neighbor with her laundry.”
“I’m glad the bus takes us to Walmart to shop every week.”
Of course, a few residents talked about their losses, regrets, or grievances, but most expressed gratefulness about all the good in their lives.
Sometimes I survey the difficulties that assail me at this time of life and don’t appreciate all the little things that make my life run more smoothly. Maybe I should.
Rabbi Harold Kushner said, "Can you see the holiness in those things you take for granted—a paved road or a washing machine? If you concentrate on finding what is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul."
Every day there are thousands of little things to appreciate if I allow myself to consider them—running water, indoor plumbing, servicemen who came to unclog my kitchen sink the other day. And yes, having a washing machine and clothes dryer.
“Reflect upon your present blessings—of which every man has many—not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”—Charles Dickens
“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.”—Epictetus
Good advice, Charlie and Epi. May I remember those thoughts when my dishwasher quits or my husband is sick or—come to think of it, my problems are miniscule compared to my joys.
Whatever our challenges this Thanksgiving, may we set aside our troubles and instead be filled with gratitude for our many blessings, many conveniences, for the many people who touch our lives in big and small ways (a heartfelt thanks to those who read my column regularly and comment through email.)
Now a quote from a well-known philosopher, A.A. Milne, "Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude."
Happy Thanksgiving!
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Diana Walters retired from paid employment at age 76. Now 77, she is again working half-time, volunteering, writing and spending time with her husband. She believes we all need a purpose to get up every day and not having one is the downfall of many a senior. One of Diana’s purposes is working on this weekly column. She enjoys hearing from readers and can be reached at dianalwalters@comcast.net.