Re: Bring Back the Paddle opinion:
How refreshing to hear someone speak in defense of paddling. Everywhere we look the so-called experts belittle paddling for worry over the chance of abuse. I acknowledge that abuse happens and children who have genuinely been abused should probably not be disciplined in this manner. However, done properly, spanking is a very effective discipline tool.
James Dobson states in his books and I agree that paddling early can actually prevent abuse. If a parent deals with the offense quickly and consistently and matter of factly, then the child knows the boundaries and the parent's anger doesn't grow and grow.
I believe spanking should be limited to the buttocks, marks should not be left, and the parent/teacher should decide in advance what the number of licks will be. Deciding this in the heat of the moment would not be wise.
With our children we tried to save spanking for deliberate disobedience or rebellion against authority. We used other discipline methods for other offenses. Our children are now teenagers who thank us for not allowing them to be brats.
I think the real key is being consistent - the rules don't keep changing and the consequences of breaking them are known in advance and are enforced quickly. I am amazed (and dismayed) every week as I walk through Wal-Mart and see children screaming disrespectfully at their parents and even hitting their parents. This is every week. I wonder what our society will be like when these children become adults? A parent would only need to leave their cart once or twice to administer discipline for this to stop (if the parent has been believable at home). I would like to encourage parents whose children are out of control to educate themselves on what to do about it before it's too late.
On a side note, the organization "My Grandma's House" offers a parenting class which is held on Wednesday nights at Grace Baptist Church on Shallowford Road. This class is free and continuously running. You can call the church for details.
Joyce Hague
Ooltewah
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There are a lot of "ifs" in Ms. Hague's support on paddling. "If" paddling is done right, blah blah blah. Reminds me of those sweepstakes offers I sometimes get in the mail. "If" you're the fiftieth person to respond, you win the prize. Only thing is, no one ever knows who was the "fiftieth" to respond.
Paddling on the buttocks: Now, I remember a story from my childhood days where a father was or thought he was paddling his daughter on her buttocks. But we all know, children don't remain still and will squirm, jump around and try to get away while being hit. Well, what this father thought he was hitting (her buttocks) turned out to be the lower portion of her back. The child was paralyzed for life from this "paddling" and her father never forgave himself. End of story.
Brenda Manghane~Washington
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Squirm. Jump. Try To Get Away. Now those were words that my Mom would use just before I got what was coming to me. You start squirming, jumping around or trying to get away and whoa! be unto me. I knew exactly where my Mom's limit was and I knew not to cross that limit. No "if's" about it.
That is exactly what is wrong with our society today...there are no limits. Do whatever feels right and there's no punishment. Go ahead, hit the teacher and you get to go home for three days where the parents cannot touch the child because it's "child abuse" so you have a three-day vacation. Go ahead and wear your pants around your knees and show everyone your behind...after all it's free expression the way I wear my clothes...what about indecent exposure? Get it, no punishment.
We need to discipline our children. Some need the rod of correction and some work well with "time-out". Right now, my grandson is doing wonderful with time-out, but I know there will come a day when the consequence doesn't match the offense.
And the most important item we have decided to leave out of our society is the Bible and Jesus Christ. Want to talk about a limit, for everyone who rejects Christ there is a high punishment to pay.
Jim Hill
Rossville, Ga.
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I have to agree with Mrs. Hague regarding discipline. If a person is to believe the Bible, it specifically says in the Old Testament, “Spare the rod and spoil the child.” If a child does not get correction, they will be wild (yes, I know, there are exceptions to every rule. Some kids turn out alright despite their incompetent parents' help).
My children, ages 17 and 14, after being around these bratty Wal-Mart kids and kids they encounter every day, thank both me and my wife for not allowing them to be bratty like the ones they encounter each and every day.
Daniel James
pork@bellsouth.net
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I am a firm believer in paddling or as the Good Book says " Spare the rod and spoil the child." Don't get me wrong, I am firmly against child abuse, but a good ole fashioned butt busting never hurt anyone.
I can remember getting them on a few occasions and, looking back, they were well deserved. Back in the 70's and 80's (I graduated in 1982) there were no guns in school, or threats of violence, or drugs and gangs as rampant as they are today, and I firmly believe a lot of that has to do with the good old-fashioned disciple children received back then.
The bottom line is black, white, rich, poor, middle class or whatever - parents need to take an active part in their childrens' lives and punish them accordingly. That is how fine upstanding adults are raised.
Theresa Cantrell
ms_sandypaws@yahoo.com
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The story of Brenda Manghane~Washington's childhood is utterly absurd. A father paralyzed his daughter with a paddle. Maybe, just maybe if he struck her full-on in the back with a baseball bat but a paddle? Give me a break.
Provide the names and dates of this incident, if you please. Brenda Manghane-Washington cannot provide that information because I can guarantee it did not happen.
As someone who was paddled in school and got the business end of a belt at home when warranted, it is blatantly obvious that this type of punishment needs to get back into the schools.
Anyone who thinks kids aren't laughing about "timeouts" or being sent to their rooms (where they have cable TV, high-speed Internet, MP3 players, Playstation 3 consoles, and more) is walking around blind without a cane. The complete lack of discipline as well as the attitudes of the students are exactly why my wife is no longer a teacher in Hamilton County.
There is clearly the attitude of impunity among students thanks to the gutless in our society who would rather let students run amok disobeying teachers and disrupting classes than risk hurting their fragile little egos.
There is tremendous wisdom in "Spare the rod, spoil the child." Even Dr. Spock admitted he was wrong after his "no spanking" philosophy ruined an entire generation.
Joel Walker
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I agree with most of the comments in defense of paddling/spanking. Just one clarification. "Spare the rod; spoil the child" is from Benjamin Franklin. The Bible says, "He who spares the rod, hates his son." Proverbs 13:24.
As God disciplines those whom he loves, so should we discipline our children if we love them. Hebrews 12:6
Pastor Travis Hutchinson
Highlands Presbyterian Church
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From what I can see we have two separate issues here: whether or not to paddle at home, and whether or not to paddle at school. People keep trying to argue about the issue of paddling, but you have to separate them.
I am a middle school teacher her in Hamilton County and I see the effects of this issue daily. I will speak to both of them.
First, on the issue of paddling at home. I think that many of you are right in quoting the good book when we discipline our own children. I firmly believe that is one of our God-given responsibilities as parents. (Everyone always chimes about our "God-given
rights", but he also gave us responsibilities). We have to discipline our kids. Whatever method of discipline a parent uses has to be varied. You have to mix things up. If all you did was beat you kid for every thing they did wrong, eventually it would quit working. My mother was a master at this art. I never knew what was coming. Sometimes it would be spanking, but other times, especially as I got older, she would do things that hurt in different ways (taking away something I wanted). I say if spanking works...spank em like Tennessee did Georgia.
Now, as for spanking at school, for three reasons I am completely and totally against it. First and foremost I will tell you that when kids get to be 14 yrs old, it doesn't work. Oh sure they may cry a bit, and look like they are sorry, but it does nothing to change the behavior. I see this daily in my classroom. All spanking does at 14 is make them mad. They have learned that whatever it is that they aren't supposed to do is worth a little bit of pain.
Second, is that I don't want someone who is mad from the situation with the ability to beat on a kid. Trust me when a kid disrupts your class you get quite upset at times. I don't want the possibility of a teacher getting rid of that anger on any kid.
Finally, and this is the biggest reason, it is not the teacher's job. Now don't go thinking that I am a teacher that only does what I am "contractually obligated" to do. No, look at the first paragraph. Discipline is one of those responsibilities given to the parents. I once had a dad in a conference ask me "don't you guys at the school have a punishment for a kid not doing their work, and failing?" My response was "Yes, we do. I tell you that he is failing." When I was a kid all my teachers had to do was tell my parents that I was acting up and that took care of things. No conference needed....no "behaviour plans" or such nonsense. Teacher said I was misbehaving, and mom and dad handled it. Period. But then my mom and dad had a different idea of parenting than some parents today. My mom understood that if she grounded my sister then that meant that she couldn't go out either.
Paddling doesn't belong in school, teaching does. Plus, a truly good teacher doesn't need it to be good. Paddling is an attempt at discipline by mediocre teachers who aren't good enough to come up with anything more creative.
Todd Grainger
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Similarly to Mr. Hutchinson, I would like to clarify something Mrs. Hague said. She said she does not think discipline should leave any marks. If she means by this open wounds or broken bones, in small children, she may have a point. But the Bible says in Proverbs 20:30 KJV - "The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so [do] stripes the inward parts of the belly." Blueness here means in Hebrew "joining" (Jamieson Faussett Brown).
As when a wound is joined, it keeps out contaminants, so also when a child's will is corrected or closed, we save them from evil.
Furthermore, discipline changes people because it hurts. If it hurts, it's going to leave some black and bluing. I think the buttocks is an appropriate place to use the whip.
Mark Albertini
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To cite an Old Testament that advocates stoning of disobedient children seems very unwise. I think those who wish us to live by the Old Testament should practice what they preach and follow the entire old testament.
But we are in a new covenant aren't we?
R.W. Young
Chattanooga