Roy Exum
Dave Berry, the wonderful humorist whose newspaper column is syndicated across the United State, has a very salient point of why, in the early hours of tomorrow, we must set our clocks back to rejoin Eastern Standard Time. There is no rhyme nor reason we do this. "You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe Daylight Saving (not "savings; mind you, there is no 's' at the end of saving.) No, for the next four months the American people will endure a meaningless task whose time has come and gone."
Back in the day, the USA and the world were compartmentalizing -- a work day was 8 a.m.
until 5 p.m. on five straight days, Today nothing could be further from reality, Such antiquated goose-step is laughable. Organized labor is nothing what it once was and, as VW is eager to increase production, labor unions have collected more dust than Shiloh and Gettysburg. Huge pressure is on public education to produce a labor-ready work force and every time the Hamilton County public schools try to renew a very tired and fraudulent plea for equity and equality, they are exposed as out of touch with reality.
Nationally it has been found those who clamor for equity, equality, or newly-found integration represent no more than a money grab, a callous rich-to-poor exchange that -- hello! -- the rich will no longer tolerate. The equality-equity plea has been fueled by only minorities; thus, it has been repeatedly proven as some dreamy social need when, in fact, it is no more than a cash-driven fraud by the scurrilous who pretend to be valiant crusaders. Look at it! Peel away the layers! Search the web however you wish.
What you are watching is actually a desperate grip on an Obama-charged climate that today is a half-century removed from such folly. Please … google "equality," "equity," "integration in the year 2018" … trust me .. it is the biggest joke in The Saturday Funnies has going into the midterm elections 2018 this Tuesday. Read an economist like Walter Williams who has repeatedly exposed the twisted liberals. The same for William Sowell, one of the most brilliant minds in my lifetime. Do I dare mention both are black, but are held in such regards people quit noticing years ago?
Trust me, today's voters have had quite enough and if the public schools don't return to the primary goal of teaching our children as the most proven route out of poverty, we have cheated every child by building barriers instead of bridges.
Watch the voters Tuesday. Sense what the nation needs, and wants. This isn't from me … make your own observations.
Oh, and before you go to bed tonight, please replace the batteries in your fire alarm, your flashlights and everything thing else that needs an Eveready and then click every clock back an hour.
But if you dare think your internal clock is going to give you a free hour under the covers, kindly remember it has never happened before. Tell your dog you are letting him out the front door at the same time, just an hour later. And the cows, eager for corn and sweet feed, will have had to wait in a driving rain for over an hour. Remember, not a one has a wrist watch but every animal you ever knew has a clock. I’ll guarantee it.
Alright, enough of my rambling … let's get to the funnies ...
* * *
YOU HAVE TO BE RAISED IN THE SOUTH TO UNDERSTAND THIS
The year is 2024 and the United States has just elected the first woman as President of the United States, and she is from South Carolina. A few days after the election, the president-elect calls her father in South Carolina and asks, “So, Dad, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?”
“I don't think so. It's a long drive; your mom isn't as young as she used to be, we'll have the dog with us, and my arthritis is acting up in my knee.”
“Don't worry about it, Dad, I'll send Air Force One to pick you up and take you home, and a limousine will pick you up at your door," she said.
“I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy. What would your mother wear?”
"OH, Dad," she replied, "I'll make sure she has a wonderful gown custom-made by one of the best designers in N.Y.”
“Honey,” Dad complained, "You know we can't eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat.”
The President-elect responded, "Don't worry, Dad. The entire affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in D.C. And I'll ensure your meals are salt-free.”
So her parents reluctantly agreed, and on Jan. 20, 2024 arrived to see their daughter sworn in as President of the United States. The parents of the new President are seated in the front row.
The President's dad sees that a Senator is sitting next to him and leans over and whispers, "You see that woman up there with her hand on the Bible, becoming President of the United States?
“The Senator whispered in reply, "Yes, sir, I sure do.”
Dad says proudly, “Her brother played football for Alabama.”
* * *
THE TRUE STORY OF WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR ARM DOESN’T WORK
A man lost an arm when his golf cart rolled over on him on a down slope. He became very depressed because he loved to play golf. One day in his despair, he decided to commit suicide and end it all.
He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off. He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man down on the sidewalk skipping along, whooping and kicking up his heels. He looked closer and saw that this man didn't have any arms at all.
He started thinking, "What am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself? I still have one good arm to do things with."
He thought, "There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk so happy, and going on with his life."
He hurried down to the sidewalk and caught up with the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he lost one of his arms and felt useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him for saving his life and said he knew he could make it with one arm if the guy could go on with no arms.
The man with no arms began dancing and whooping and kicking up his heels again. He asked, "Why are you so happy anyway?"
He said, "I'm NOT happy. My rump itches."
** * *
THE BEST VIDEO OF THE WEEK: Jeannie Johnston, a delightful 6-foot-2 comedian from rural North Carolina, has emerged as one of the best story-tellers in the United States. Almost two million people have now watched her performance, "Don't Get Frisky in a Tent" and here's a snippet of when she and her husband, participated in a "Wilderness Adventure" on the floor of the Grand Canyon, with six or seven couples who have been lifelong friends. This is priceless. To watch, please
CLICK HERE.
----