Roy Exum
You must know that I get dozens of enlightening, inspirational, and thought-provoking emails all the time, not to mention those I want to share from ‘My Morning Readings.’ Several weeks before Christmas a delightful friend sent me one entitled – get this – “Age 65 Until Death.” Are you kidding me? Not only do I not wish to share it, I don’t even want to read anything as morbid. “… Until Death?” Please! So it languished in my inbox for several days until an idle moment presented the chance for me to read it.
I think its contents are wonderful.
This is the last week of the year 2020. Every day I am deluged with stories about how awful this year has been, and we’ll all agree that quarantines, horrible riots, violent deaths, even worse politics and a creeping disregard for those who are different from us - despite the fact their voices are so important to us - hasn’t been a lot of fun. But have you thought about that in 2020 we came up with a vaccine to hopefully wipe out the greatest pandemic we’ve ever known? Do you realize with the quarantine and virtual learning our families have created memories their children will never forget in a lifetime?
In some areas like California and the Pacific Northwest you can go to an “essential” liquor store but in “one nation founded by God” you can’t go to church, yet 20 million Bibles will be sold in our United States this year alone. We must mask and wash hands and socially distance but six – count ‘em – six times I have taken a grocery buggy from a shopper who has said, “Wait …” and then squirted hand sanitizer on the handle before allowing me to touch it. That’s the real America.
When was the last time you prayed for Italy, just a country for heaven’s sake, but this year a lot of us did at the start of the COVID onslaught? Our college football games were cancelled sometimes on the very day before the game, yet while we fussed and fumed I have not read of one athlete of the teams I love to watch who has died. That’s huge. I can’t recall a pro athlete in any sport who has died. Man, look for the blessings, not the curses.
I grieve for over 250 families in Hamilton County who lost a loved one to complications heightened by the coronavirus, but I am reminded my tears also fall for the drug overdoses, the fatal heart attacks, the fatal car wrecks and so help me God I give thanks that I have not heard of one “front-line defender” in our hospitals, our EMT crew, our fire department or our police force who has died in these last nine horrifying months from COVID alone. There may be some I haven’t heard about but, brother, behold the miracle than has actually occurred in our community!
How can we not be grateful? Look at our emergency room staffs going from the horrors of 2020 toward the hope of 2021. Hello! Same number of noses, same number of toes. That’s phenomenal! Look at our doctors, not at the patients we lost, but instead the thousands who walked out ‘on their own’ after some very extenuating circumstances. Listen, our “Legion of the Miserable” wouldn’t have given a one, this after a walk through intensive care on any given day, what’s called “a cut dog’s chance.”
Last night I looked at the Johns Hopkins COVID dashboard. In the United States we now had 14,983,425 recorded cases. We have had 287,825 who have died yet there is one more number – recovered 8,787,738. (Actually, there are millions more who have recovered but with 287.8K who have died out of 19.9M, who are they trying to kid?)
Officially, this is America’s quiet week, the lull between Christmas and New Year’s Day but, for me, I’m going to focus not on tragedy but triumph as we march towards a New Year and I am assured 2021 will be full of a lot more miracles.
Thinking positive is one way to live longer. Again, the anonymous story of “Age 65 Until Death” is instead about living. Here is how all of us older folks can LIVE a lot longer … and you younger readers take notes.
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YOUR TIME IN LIFE IS RIGHT NOW – TODAY !
* -- It’s time to use the money you saved up. Use it and enjoy it. Don’t just keep it for those who may have no notion of the sacrifices you made to get it. Remember there is nothing more dangerous than a son or daughter-in-law with big ideas for your hard-earned capital. Warning: This is also a bad time for investments, even if it seems wonderful or fool-proof. They only bring problems and worries. This is a time for you to enjoy some peace and quiet.
* -- Stop worrying about the financial situation of your children and grandchildren, and don’t feel bad about spending your money on yourself. You’ve taken care of them for many years, and you’ve taught them what you could. You gave them an education, food, shelter, and support. The responsibility is now theirs to earn their own money.
* -- Keep a healthy life, without great physical effort. Do moderate exercise (like walking every day), eat well, and get your sleep. It’s easy to become sick, and it gets harder to remain healthy. That is why you need to keep yourself in good shape and be aware of your medical and physical needs. Keep in touch with your doctor, do tests even when you’re feeling well. Stay informed.
* -- Always buy the best, most beautiful items for your significant other. The key goal is to enjoy your money with your partner. One day one of you will miss the other, and the money will not provide any comfort then, enjoy it together.
* -- Don’t stress over the little things. You’ve already overcome so much in your life. You have good memories and bad ones, but the important thing is the present. Don’t let the past drag you down and don’t let the future frighten you. Feel good in the now. Small issues will soon be forgotten.
* -- Regardless of age, always keep love alive. Love your partner, love life, love your family, love your neighbor, and remember: A man is not old as long as he has intelligence and affection.
* -- Be proud, both inside and out. Don’t stop going to your hair salon or barber, do your nails, go to the dermatologist and the dentist, keep your perfumes and creams well stocked. When you are well-maintained on the outside, it seeps in, making you feel proud and strong.
* -- Don’t lose sight of fashion trends for your age but keep your own sense of style. There’s nothing worse than an older person trying to wear the current fashion among youngsters. You’ve developed your own sense of what looks good on you – keep it and be proud of it. It’s part of who you are.
* -- Always stay up-to-date. Read newspapers, watch the news. Go online and read what people are saying. Make sure you have an active email account and try to use some of those social networks. You’ll be surprised what old friends you’ll meet. Keeping in touch with what is going on and with the people you know is important at any age.
* -- Respect the younger generation and their opinions. They may not have the same ideals as you, but they are the future, and will take the world in their direction. Give advice, not criticism, and try to remind them that yesterday’s wisdom still applies today.
* -- Never use the phrase, “Back in my time …” Your time is now. As long as you’re alive, you are part of this time. You may have been younger, but you are still you now, having fun and enjoying life.
* -- Some people embrace their golden years, while others become bitter and surly. Life is too short to waste your days on the latter. Spend your time with positive, cheerful people, it’ll rub off on you and your days will seem that much better. Spending your time with bitter people will make you older and harder to be around.
* -- Do not surrender to the temptation of living with your children or grandchildren (if you have a financial choice, that is). Sure, being surrounded by family sounds great, but we all need our privacy. They need theirs and you need yours. If you’ve lost your partner (our deepest condolences), then find a person to move in with you and help out. Even then, do so only if you feel you really need the help or do not want to live alone.
* -- Don’t abandon your hobbies. If you don’t have any, make new ones. You can travel, hike, cook, read, dance. You can adopt a cat or a dog, grow a garden, play cards, checkers, chess, dominoes, golf. You can paint, volunteer, or just collect certain items. Find something you like and spend some real time having fun with it.
* -- Even if you don’t feel like it, try to accept invitations. Baptisms, graduations, birthdays, weddings, conferences. Try to go. Get out of the house, meet people you haven’t seen in a while, experience something new (or something old). But don’t get upset when you’re not invited. Some events are limited by resources, and not everyone can be hosted. The important thing is to leave the house from time to time. Go to museums, go walk through a field. Get out there.
* -- Be a conversationalist. Talk less and listen more. Some people go on and on about the past, not caring if their listeners are really interested. That’s a great way of reducing their desire to speak with you. Listen first and answer questions, but don’t go off into long stories unless asked to. Speak in courteous tones and try not to complain or criticize too much unless you really need to. Try to accept situations as they are. Everyone is going through the same things, and people have a low tolerance for hearing complaints. Always find some good things to say as well.
* -- Pain and discomfort go hand in hand with getting older. Try not to dwell on them but accept them as a part of the cycle of life we’re all going through. Try to minimize them in your mind. They are not who you are, they are something that life added to you. If they become your entire focus, you lose sight of the person you used to be.
* -- If you’ve been offended by someone – forgive them. If you’ve offended someone – apologize. Don’t drag around resentment with you. It only serves to make you sad and bitter. It doesn’t matter who was right. Someone once said: Holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. Don’t take that poison. Forgive, forget, and move on with your life.
* -- If you have a strong belief, savor it. But don’t waste your time trying to convince others. They will make their own choices no matter what you tell them, and it will only bring you frustration. Live your faith and set an example. Live true to your beliefs and let that memory sway them.
* -- Laugh A Lot. Laugh at everything. Remember, you are one of the lucky ones. You managed to have a life, a long one. Many never get to this age, never get to experience a full life. But you did. So, what’s not to laugh about? Find the humor in your situation.
* -- Take no notice of what others say about you and even less notice of what they might be thinking. They’ll do it anyway, and you should have pride in yourself and what you’ve achieved. Let them talk and don’t worry. They have no idea about your history, your memories, and the life you’ve lived so far. There’s still much to be written, so get busy writing and don’t waste time thinking about what others might think. Now is the time to be at rest, at peace and as happy as you can be!
* -- And, remember: Life is too short to drink bad wine.
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Watch for the miracles, brother. Recognize them. Relish them. A truth: That our emergency rooms in Hamilton County still have all their noses and all their toes, after what we’ve been through this year, ain’t just happenstance.
royexum@aol.com