Roy Exum
OVERHEARD: Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations. It shouldn't be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and cultural differences. Observe the following examples below:
The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect.
Coke then researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le," which can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth."
In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead."
Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good" came out as "eat your fingers off."
The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem - Feeling Free," got translated in the Japanese market into "When smoking Salem, you feel so refreshed that your mind seems to be free and empty."
When General Motors introduced the Chevy Nova in South America, it was apparently unaware that "no va" means "it won't go." After the company figured out why it wasn't selling any cars, it renamed the car in its Spanish markets to the Caribe.
When Parker Pen marketed a ballpoint pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to say, "It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you." However, the company mistakenly thought the Spanish word "embarazar" meant embarrass. Instead, the ads said that "It won’t leak in your pocket and make you pregnant."
An American t-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of the desired "I Saw the Pope" in Spanish, the shirts proclaimed, "I Saw the Potato."
Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.
In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name into Schweppes Toilet Water.
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This Week’s Riddles
1. I have married many women throughout my life, but I have none for myself. Who am I?
2. Imagine being captured and kept in a pitch-dark room with two guards outside. How would you escape without anyone noticing?
3. Peter wears shirts sized XXL and weighs 240 pounds. He has an assistant at his butcher shop who wears shirts sized XXXL. What does Peter’s assistant weigh?
4. How many of each animal was Moses instructed to take into the ark before the great flood?
5. When moving forward I am very heavy. You cannot lift me with your hands. But when moving backward, I am not. What am I?
6. Think! It is greater than God and all supreme beings / It is more evil and influential than Satan / The poor people have lots of it at any given time / The super-rich need it too. / But if you live on it, you surely will die. What is it?
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OUR DISCLAIMER: As our Saturday Funnies regulars know, we do not write the riddles, nor the jokes seen here every Saturday. No, they are included among the funny emails people share with us on email. So, if you happen across a funny, allow us to share in the laughter. Kindly remember younger folks are among our readers so please be mindful to make the laughter suitable for any age.
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This Week’s Answers
1. A Catholic father.
2. Stop Imagining.
3. Peter’s assistant weighs meat at the butcher shop
4. None. (The story is about Noah and the ark, and not Moses and the ark)
5. Ton (now spell it backwards)
6. Nothing … absolutely nothing
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LOOKING FORWARD TO THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON.
Let’s do a little recap of the season past…
Alabama beat Arkansas, and Arkansas fired their coach.
Alabama beat Tennessee and Tennessee fired their coach.
Alabama beat Notre Dame and the Pope was irate.
Alabama beat Auburn and Auburn fired their coach.
How do we get the White House to play ‘Bama?
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THE PERFECT GIFT
Every time Larry gave his wife a gift for Christmas, her birthday, or their anniversary, she complained about what a rotten gift it was. "Larry, the next time you give me a bad gift, I will light it on fire!"
A week later was Larry's wife's birthday. She came down to see only two small boxes.
She opened the first box; it was a box of matches.
She opened the second gift. It was a candle.
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YES! I AM THE GREATEST!
A 12-year-old boy was in his back yard with his bat and ball. “I'm the greatest batter of all time” he said.
He threw the ball into the air, swung. Strike one.
“I'm the greatest batter of all time”
He threw the ball into the air, swung. Strike two.
“I'm the greatest batter of all time”
He threw the ball into the air, swung. Strike three.
Undaunted, he yelled: “I'm the greatest pitcher of all time!”
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THE FOSSIL … PLUS FOUR
While touring a museum, the tour guide said that a fossil we were looking at was three million and 4 years old.
When asked how he could be so specific with the date, he replied. “When I came here I was told it was three million years old and I've been here 4 years.
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A LITTLE BOY SAYS HIS PRAYERS
A little boy was kneeling beside his bed with his mother and grandmother and softly saying his prayers,
"Dear God, please bless Mommy and Daddy and Granny and all the family and please give me a good night's sleep."
Suddenly he looked up and shouted, "And don't forget I want a bicycle for my birthday!!"
"There is no need to shout like that," said his mother. "God isn't hard of hearing."
"No," said the little boy, "but Grandma is."
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY DARLING DAUGHTER
A mother told her daughter who was turning 32 not to get too excited about her birthday party since it would be very short.
The daughter said, But mom, “I've had a party every year since I was born, why will this one be short?”
The mother replied, "This is your thirty-second party … "
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THIS WEEK’S BEST VIDEOS
* -- From the movie ‘Lonesome Dove:’ “I think we’ve found our man!” CLICK HERE.
* -- Every high school graduate should memorize “IF.” Sir Michael Caine’s favorite, and mine, too! CLICK HERE.
* -- Yankees great Reggie Jackson tells his favorite Yogi Berra story. CLICK HERE.
* -- The best catches in baseball! CLICK HERE.
* -- Best Bo Jackson Highlights … ever! CLICK HERE.
* -- D-Day Veterans speak out on the accuracy of the movie, ‘Saving Private Ryan’ CLICK HERE.
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royexum@aol.com