Roy Exum
When several employees at the Cape Wildlife Rescue Center in Massachusetts noticed a big and beautiful Canadian Goose begin to stumble and fall down at a picturesque pond, the staff decided to take a closer look at “Arnold,” as the townsfolks call him. Something, probably a snapping turtle, had badly mangled one of the gander’s legs and webbed foot.
They had quite a time catching the wild bird but discovered that Arnold had two exposed and broken bones and some ugly lacerations so surgery was required.
Then it happened; a persistent tapping came from the reception area and one of the nurses went to see “What on earth!” Outside the door stood Arnold’s quite forlorn and agitated wife/companion/lover/mate. She was attempting a break-in and the staff wished for all the world their spouses were as dedicated. “Sure, we all misted up. It was beautiful.”
Here you need to know that Canadian geese have a lifespan of about 25 years but, far better, at the age of 3, they find a soulmate and it’s “for keeps.” A pair of geese mate for life and - by golly - Arnold’s ‘better half’ was demanding to see her gander. You know the vow - “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.”
No one will ever know how the female goose found Arnold - outside of a God-given miracle - but when Arnold regained his senses after surgery, the nurses took him to the front door and both birds calmed immediately, The staff even cracked the door open enough where the female could reach her long neck in and preen her No.1.
The plan is to “get him back out quickly and we will perform bandage changes and antibiotics treatments in view of the doorway when possible, read a prepared statement, “so that his mate can check up on him through each day.” The center provides the female with food and water and they’ll put Arnold in a sturdy baby bed where the two geese can enjoy “the look of love” until they’ll return to the pond in about three weeks.
Male geese are called Ganders and the offspring are goslings but there is only one term used for females; that would not be “hen.” It is simply “Goose.” And one more goose tip: When you see a pair of the big birds, the way scientists identify their sex is the tailfeathers of males appear as rounded off, while a female’s tailfeathers appear more pointed.
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THE REAL REASON THAT I FORWARD FUNNY EMAILS TO MY FRIENDS
This anonymous email explains why friends forward jokes. I've never thought of it this way before.
A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.
He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"
"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.
"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.
"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open. "Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed.
There was no fence.
As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.
"Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any water?"
"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in."
"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog
"There should be a bowl by the pump," said the man.
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.
The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, and then he gave some to the dog.
When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.
"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.
"This is Heaven," he answered. "Well, that's confusing," the traveler said.
"The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."
"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell."
"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"
"No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind."
So-o-o-o. Now you see, sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding stuff to us without writing a word.
Maybe this will explain it.
When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward emails!
When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes!
When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how . . . You forward stuff!
A 'forward' lets you know that …
You are still remembered,
You are still important,
You are still loved,
You are still cared for.
So, next time if you get a 'forward', don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.
You are welcome at my water bowl anytime!
So here's to keeping in touch.
Even if it means only forwarding on an email!
-- Author unknown; from the Internet
royexum@aol.com