Roy Exum
Russia seems intent on clobbering the Ukraine and Canadian police are just as itchy to bash truckers but here in Chattanooga a boatload of embarrassing extortionists has drawn a line in the banks of the Tennessee River. The so-called “Friends of the Hooch” directors said this week that if new plans for the riverfront eliminate two parking lots that are used by the row-boat group just one weekend of the year, they’ll take the whole regatta elsewhere.
The general consensus to such an empty and meaningless whine is ‘don’t let the gate hit you in your hooch as you slink out of town’ and come to think of it, go ahead and get gone now.
Chattanooga doesn’t welcome threats nor pitiful ultimatums because this city wasn’t built by little people who resort to such petty tactics. That’s right. Pout, sulk, and take your boats elsewhere.
The fact is Chattanooga is a premier venue. No other city can match it so before your public relations disaster gets any worse, look around for a better and more welcoming spot and leave now.
Earlier this week a Letter to the Editor appeared in the newspaper under the heading, “If condos come, say bye to Head of the Hooch.” The letter, written by the directors of “Friends of the Hooch,” claimed the event, which features rowing teams from high schools and colleges, hinges on the use of – get this -- two parking lots.
“If these two parking lots are developed as proposed by RiverCity, our event will be impossible to conduct in Chattanooga.”
Tell me this is a joke. Two parking lots are going to shut down a weekend that promoters say raises $30 million in tourist dollars? Obviously the ‘Hooch” has far greater problems than they realize. While I don’t know how large the two parking areas are, I know Girls Preparatory School’s property on the north shore of the actual site is substantial and, just upstream, the UT-Chattanooga campus would be wonderful if “Friends of the Hooch” had any imagination or foresight.
Most of us learned in elementary school that “necessity is the mother of invention” and ever since John Ross landed here hundreds of years ago, the Tennessee River hasn’t moved. “The Head of the Hooch” actually began on the Chattahoochee River and, when that turned sour, the two-day event came to Chattanooga. The regatta’s name remained intact, of course (if that rhymes with gratitude).
Held on the first weekend of November on a 5-kilometer course (3.1 miles), over 200 rowing teams and “clubs” took part last year.
The “Friends of the Hooch” letter suggests building luxury condos where today’s baseball stadium is today but failed to say when the Lookouts are closing down. There has been idle chatter that a new baseball park may be built in the renewal of the foundry area but the public reception to a multi-million-dollar ballpark is chilly if not downright frosty … Chattanooga already has a good park that was never intended to be razed and the location today is perfect.
The letter also claimed that the Head of the Hooch “is the largest single weekend tourism revenue generator in Chattanooga’s history.” If indeed that’s true, something better is certain to come along and a revitalization of the Riverfront will be enjoyed by local citizens throughout the years to come.
Don’t fall for idle threats or the stupid people who make them.
royexum@aol.com