Bob Tamasy: Refusing To Let Familiarity Breed Complacency

A centuries-old adage declares “familiarity breeds contempt.” This essentially means the more time spent with someone or something the easier it is to become aware of faults and deficiencies, even to the point of becoming resentful or scornful. Upon closer inspection, warts aren’t all that attractive.

I’d propose a corollary to that saying: Familiarity breeds complacency. For a simple example, consider the human thumb. Known scientifically as the “opposable thumb,” it’s distinctive because when the thumb is placed opposite the fingers on the same hand, it allows us to grasp, handle and manipulate objects. Pretty cool, but when was the last time you said, ‘Thank God for my thumbs’?

Years ago, I gained a new appreciation for my right thumb. Heavy traffic I was driving in suddenly came to a stop. Looking in my rearview mirror, I saw the car in back of mine approaching much too fast. Unable to move out of the way, I did the only thing I could think of in that instant. I hit the car horn as hard as I could – with my thumb. The vehicle behind me came to a screeching halt, but my thumb screamed with pain. I had sprained it in the process.

Over the next several weeks while my thumb was healing, even the most mundane tasks proved challenging: Turning a doorknob, opening a soft drink bottle, picking things up. My complacency toward my thumb because of lifelong familiarity quickly dissipated. My appreciation level for having opposable thumbs soared.

Sadly, something similar to this happens in many marriages. When couples marry, they excitedly exchange “I do’s” – public declarations of their commitment to one another. As the years pass, however, the devotion and fervor they felt in the beginning fades. They become “used to one another” and start taking one another for granted, becoming complacent.

If we’re not careful, we can experience the complacency of familiarity with careers, getting an education, pursuing hobbies, even with our faith.

Part of the problem is short memories. We forget why we felt so enthused initially. What if husbands and wives annually on their anniversaries would repeat their vows as a reminder of their promises before God? It could also help to revisit why they decided to get married in the first place, recognizing what was so special about the person they pledged to share a lifetime with. Chances are those qualities are still there; they’re just buried under a pile of complacency.

The phenomenon of spiritual complacency is addressed often in the Bible. The Israelites had a special knack for forgetting the blessings God had bestowed on them, starting with their deliverance from slavery in Egypt. This is one reason so much emphasis was placed on memorizing the holy writings. Annual festivals – including the Feasts of Unleavened Bread, Harvest, and Ingathering – were celebrated each year to help them remember what the Lord had done for them.

In Psalm 119:11, the psalmist writes, “I have hidden Your word in my heart that I might not sin against You.” By “hiding” the Scriptures in our hearts, we not only remember God’s commands, but also His promises, principles for everyday living, and the great things He has done.

The New Testament gives us many reminders to help us in keeping fresh what can become so familiar. At this season of the year, much is preached and written about the life, crucifixion, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We could easily say, ‘Oh, I’ve heard that before – many times.’ Maybe, but the truths, realities and ramifications of Jesus’ sacrificial death, the empty tomb and His being raised from the dead are far too important for us to neglect through complacency.

We’re exhorted in Hebrews 12:1-3, “let’s run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking only at Jesus, the originator and perfecter of the faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

The so-called “Christian life” isn’t easy, contrary to what some would want us to believe. And our contemporary culture is showing increasing animosity toward Christianity and the One who declared, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me” (John 14:6).

If we’re followers of Jesus, we must beware of the trap of letting familiarity with our faith fall into complacency. As Ephesians 1:3 admonishes, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.” By striving to keep our faith invigorated, we’ll never grow tired of reveling in each of our spiritual blessings.

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