Bob Tamasy
Do you ever lose sleep wondering what other people think of you? I’m reminded of the sage who advised, “Don’t worry about what people are thinking about you – because most of the time, they’re not thinking about you at all.” (The guy was Hawaiian, so this deserves … a low-ha.)
Most of us do wonder what people think of us, at least to some extent. When entering a room, we’d like to make people smile, happy because we’re there, rather than see them turn the other way, or briefly glance toward us and mumble something to each other in hushed tones. We’d like people to think well of us, but how important is that? How important should it be?
The Bible offers numerous examples that help in answering those questions. But one in particular comes to mind. Among the saddest statements in the entire Bible concerns Jehoram, who had succeeded his father Jehoshaphat as king of Judah, which had separated from the other tribes of Israel. First, here’s some context:
Of Jehoshaphat, the Scriptures tell us, “He walked in the ways of his father Asa and did not stray from them; he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord” (2 Chronicles 20:32). For the most part it seems he was an upstanding individual, as was Asa before him.
However, Jehoram had a very different character, choosing not to build on the righteous legacies of Asa and Jehoshaphat. Instead, “He walked in the ways of the kings of Israel…. He did evil in the eyes of the Lord” (2 Chronicles 21:6). He became Judah’s king at the age of 32 and reigned in Jerusalem for eight years.
This is where the sad part comes in. After contracting a terrible, incurable disease, Jehoram “passed away, to no one’s regret.”He was so despised, it says, he “was buried in the City of David, but not in the tombs of the kings” (2 Chronicles 21:20). Unlike what was customary for the rulers of Judah, Jehoram wasn’t given a final resting place with the other kings.
Worst of all, he died “to no one’s regret.” If his grave had a tombstone, the inscription might have read the Hebrew equivalent of “Good riddance!”
Many people would agree they’d like to think that when they leave this life, they’ve made the world a better place. In the case of Jehoram, apparently the only way he could make his world a better place was simply to leave.
The Bible doesn’t give many other details about Jehoram’s life. We know he married a daughter of Ahab, perhaps the worst king in the history of ancient Israel. Ahab’s described as doing “more to arouse the anger of the Lord, the God of Israel, than did all the kings of Israel before him” (1 Kings 16:33). His daughter wasn’t a positive influence on Jehoram, that’s pretty obvious. Maybe he was more concerned about what Ahab and the daughter thought about him than what the people of Judah thought. He definitely didn’t care what God thought about him.
What has this to say for us today? I doubt any of us want our legacy be that we died to no one’s regret. And the Bible teaches that having a good reputation has merit, as long as it’s based on the right things:
“A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold” (Proverbs 22:1).
“The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day” (Proverbs 4:18).
“He who pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity and honor” (Proverbs 21:21).
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be known as someone whose manner of living is “like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day”? Much better than being known as a dark cloud, for sure. And if living a God-honoring life results in life, prosperity and honor, that’s something we can aspire to.
At the same time, the acclaim and commendation of others shouldn’t be our primary goal. For many, that can become a stumbling block. One day Jesus Christ warned His disciples as well as people in a large crowd that had gathered, “Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for their fathers used to treat the false prophets in the same way” (Luke 6:26). To the contrary, He said, “Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man” (Luke 6:22).
What’s most important, Jesus was saying, is not what people think of us but how we’re viewed in the eyes of God the Father. “Be careful not to perform your righteous acts before men to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven” (Matthew 6:1).
This affirmed a principle taught in the Old Testament, “To do what is right and just is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice” (Proverbs 21:3). The apostle Paul stated it another way: “…Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but think of yourself with sober judgment, according to the measure of faith God has given you” (Romans 12:3).
Having a good reputation and being viewed favorably by others is desirable, especially since we’re to be “Christ’s ambassadors” (2 Corinthians 5:20). As His representatives, we should exhibit honorable lives.
Ultimately, however, we’re to be like the virtuoso pianist who performs primarily for an audience of one, his mentor – not the adoring crowd in the concert hall. If one day we hear the words from our Lord, “Well done, good and faithful servant!” (Matthew 25:21), that will mean infinitely more than all the good things people might have thought about us here.
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Robert J. Tamasy is a veteran journalist, former newspaper editor, and magazine editor. Bob has written, co-authored and edited more than 20 books. These include ”Marketplace Ambassadors”; “Business At Its Best: Timeless Wisdom from Proverbs for Today’s Workplace”; “Tufting Legacies,” “The Heart of Mentoring,” and “Pursuing Life With a Shepherd’s Heart.” He writes and edits a weekly business meditation, “Monday Manna,” which is translated into nearly 20 languages and distributed via email around the world by CBMC International. The address for Bob's blog is www.bobtamasy.blogspot.com. His email address is btamasy@comcast.net.