A while back I wrote about my internal debate: Should I or should I not continue coloring my hair? And does dying my hair keep me young?
You probably know the expression, “Go with the flow.” Well, several months ago I decided to go with the flow by no longer covering my gray. After all, I’ll turn 78 this summer, so maybe it’s okay for me to look like a “mature” woman (I use that word loosely because maturity doesn’t necessarily come with age. I’ve known mature 12-year-olds and immature 80-year-olds.) But the point is, my thinking has evolved.
I asked myself, why am I spending time and money trying to look a few years younger? My husband doesn’t care (besides he’s 12 years older than me, so I’ll always look younger than him.) A friend, who was the same age as her husband, was mistaken for his mother once at the checkout counter at Walmart, so she went back to coloring her hair.
Under those circumstances I would too. But since that’s unlikely to happen to me, I think it’s time to accept looking like the older woman I am—or perhaps a woman who “looks good for her age.” Not that I intend to always
act my age. Inside of me beats the mind of a 40-year-old (some people might prefer to have the mind of a 20-year-old, but as far as I’m concerned, I didn’t feel like a fully functioning human until I passed forty.)
The way we view ourselves changes over the decades. Covering up the gray seemed important a few years ago, but in the overall scheme of life it’s not at all important. As the years roll by, we become different people—we evolve in ways we never expected. But hopefully we edge closer to becoming people God wants us to be.
God doesn’t care whether or not I color my hair. He does care that I grow in faith and grow in compassion for my neighbor—even the ones I don’t like much. Scripture says everyone is our neighbor—the people at church, the woman across the street who screams at anyone crossing her yard, the guy at work who gets on my last nerve. And God wants me to love them all.
That’s a tall order and, gulp, I’m not there yet. But I’m working on it. (I wonder if allowing my hair to become its natural color instead of trying to look younger gives me credit for not being prideful. Probably not—I don’t think the Lord works on a credit system.)
But what else does He expect from His children?
To follow the Ten Commandments, of course. I don’t have any trouble with not stealing and not murdering. I don’t make graven images, use God’s name in vain, or commit adultery (even in my mind, although I confess 30 years ago I may have looked twice at a handsome man that wasn’t my husband—well, maybe ten years ago.) But I keep the Commandments pretty well—except maybe on the occasions I want something I don’t have. That probably counts as coveting. I’ll have to think on that.
Other Scriptures that tell us what God expects:
Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows (Isaiah 1:17 NLT.)
Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults (Eph. 4:2.)
Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you (1 Corinthians 7:17.)
Go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone (Mark 16:15.)
Do not hide from relatives who need your help (Isaiah 58:7.)
I admit I could do better at most of these things, but like I said, I’m working on it. The Good News is that God knows we will not reach perfection in this lifetime, but loves us anyway.
But back to the idea of evolving…I am now in the process of throwing off my young-person persona and becoming an “Elder.”
David Bowie said, “Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.”
Whatever we look like on the outside, we’re basically the same people we always were, except possibly wiser, gentler, more patient. So boomers, as we evolve, let’s look forward to discovering what kind of people we were meant to be.
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Diana Walters retired from paid employment at age 76. Now 77, she is again working half-time, volunteering, writing and spending time with her husband. She believes we all need a purpose to get up every day and not having one is the downfall of many a senior. One of Diana’s purposes is working on this weekly column. She enjoys hearing from readers and can be reached at dianalwalters@comcast.net.