The postcard snapshots of life abroad, the ones that settle in the mind, rarely reflect the reality of being an expatriate. A film, a song, a travel show, the taste of a foreign dish, or even the pull of desire can all shape an illusion, one that is often at odds with experience. Other times, the leap beyond the known is made out of necessity: or simply because there is nowhere else to go.
1. Change is inevitable. Change in oneself, in the people and places left behind, in the shifting tides of politics and world affairs. How much of it registers depends on time and distance, but for those who leave, the weight of it is often clearest upon returning home.
2. Vision and perception sharpen with distance. Geography and politics: these two forces, more than most, determine the shape of a life.
3. Self-realization is neither static nor wholly predictable. It unfolds, sometimes in welcome ways, others in ways that unsettle: it does not ask permission.
4. The notion of virtue is rarely a fixed and universal agreement, yet some truths hold firm. The tension between these realities is a defining feature of human experience.
5. A life of meaningful action is not found in passivity. Time is fleeting; our place in the grand arc of history and on the human timeline, is little more than a fleck of dust, from old bones under the ground.
6. Reverse culture shock is real, and it leaves its mark(s). Some never fully return, at least, not in the way they left. Home may still be home, but it no longer feels home enough. Then again, one my find himself/herself as a foreigner in his/her native land.
7. The ability to make wise choices is a bedrock of survival. Set and setting dictate the options, but in the end, clichés like picking your battles and being flexible hold more truth than we often admit.
8. Guarding the mind, strengthening the body, and protecting the soul; this is the foundation. The work is never finished.
9. There will be times when the scorecard, fair or not, does not lean in your favor. Some will conspire against you for reasons you may never understand, or simply because they can. To live abroad is to be a foreigner. There are spoken and unspoken rules. Follow them. Assimilate where and when necessary. Keep your head down and voice quiet, when required. In disputes, the word of the native often outweighs the expatriate. Choose carefully the people and places that surround you.
10. Most of the people you once knew will never take the path you have. Many won’t care, including potential employers upon the grand return. Others may see you as being high-minded and regard the experience as irrelevant, or worse, inconvenient. And yet, there is a fine line between wisdom and hubris. Go easy on those who never left. They know not what they do.
(11). Honorable Mention: numerous people will pass through the life of an expatriate and the experience offers the opportunity to synthesize the varying perspectives we all hold, into a whirlwind of personalities juxtaposed with a given point in time. Some, if not many or most, will be transient: either a welcomed relief or a moment in time when one knows paths will likely not cross again, sadly. However, once in a while…voices and friendships from the past can resurface when least expected, or deserved.
While the “dead hand of the past”, as T. Jefferson noted and ruminated on, is simply that…the resurrection of old times and friendships should be given due consideration.
Who knows where it can lead to?