Roy Exum
Welcome to “The Only Endless Sunday Afternoon of the Year,” this since today seamlessly slips into a second day where tomorrow’s Labor Day offers an extra helping of golf, idle time on a lakeside dock or sharing more giggles with those we love. There’s the bonus of an extra afternoon nap, this before even more vinegar coleslaw, potato salad, lots of chilled tomato slices, and the splendors from the grill.
It is in during such a hopeful state of calm and quiet and warmth I trust you’ll allow me to share a tender tale of friendship between two men who today are in the autumn of their lives.
You’ll soon see God has arranged for them to have an unabashed love for one another, and for all mankind as well. Mind you, my lesson is not that you might long for such a friendship, instead that you might renew your search to reach for one very similar.
Most unfortunately, these days when we hear of men who are in love with other men – the same with women – our warped society thinks only of sex – what else, according to our tabloids. But, no! The better fact is that in well over 90 percent of healthy same-gender relationships each person’s “agape love” is patiently reserved for those of the opposite sex, their marriage mates, and the family values that are also and very equally a God-sent blessing.
I first learned this story, hardly by happenstance to those of us who believe in ‘God Things’. I had visited with my son and his delightful college friends in Philadelphia, this in 1996 or 1997. That next morning, I caught the train out of Penn Station into New York. I read an article entitled “Old Friends” in a discarded Columbia University alumni magazine of some sort left in the seat-back in front of me. I cried. You may too when you read this beautiful story.
It is about two roommates. Sanford, the son of a poor Jewish “rags to bones” family, was a pitcher on Columbia's baseball team. Arthur was from a wealthier Jewish family, majoring in architecture. His gift was a tenor voice and once, Sanford wrote during his freshman year, he was in “awe” of the way his roommate could sing the Jewish evening prayers as he sat in the windowsill while twilight faded over the campus.
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A PROLOGUE TO THE STORY OF A FRIENDSHIP
* -- ROOMMATE NO. 1 is Sanford Greenberg, who when he was stricken with sudden eye failure in the seventh inning of a game during his junior year, was diagnosed with sudden onset glaucoma and fled the university to his family home in Buffalo. Surgery that winter failed, and Sanford was soon completely blind. He refused to see anyone, was completely devastated, but even more, he was totally destroyed. That’s when his former roommate, Arthur, bounded in, unannounced. “Garfunkel came up to Buffalo anyway. “I don’t want to talk,” Greenberg spat with bitterness. “Sandy,” said his roommate. “You MUST talk.” That weekend, the roommate convinced Sanford to try, promising he would read Greenberg his lessons, get him to class, totally take care of him. After graduation, Greenberg got his MBA from Columbia and a PhD from Harvard. He married his girlfriend, Sue; was a White House fellow in the Johnson administration; and went on to become a successful inventor and businessman. “Sandy,” at one point, was chairman of the Board of Trustees at Johns Hopkins, okay? Today Sanford Greenberg is also a generous philanthropist and several years ago announced a competition of sorts where this December he will award $3 million prize (his own money) to the researcher or researching group that has done the most to produce a cure for blindness.
* -- ROOMMATE NO. 2 – “Arthur,” the one with the tenor voice, is actually Art Garfunkel, who once became an architect but soon abandoned it to follow his heart in music. He came across a songwriter named Paul Simon and in 1964, the two developed a song that was entitled, “The Sounds of Silence.” Neither had the money to spring the song, so Arthur, in his panic, called his college roommate to see if he could borrow the $400 it would take. Sanford and his wife had $404 in their checking account and Sanford didn’t wince. “Sure. How can I get it to you?” The song was such a flop Simon & Garfunkel temporarily split. Greenberg still insisted, “I’d give it to you again.” Some months later a production genius (Tom Wilson) remixed the track, overdubbing electric instruments and drums, with a gospel-music flavor, and within three months The Sound of Silence was the No. 1 hit the world over.
* -- THE SOUND OF SILENCE – When Art Garfunkel would finish with his studies every night, he would awaken his snoozing roommate with the words, “Darkness is ready to read to you again.” And that Garfinkel would do. Now you know why, when the song begins, the first words Art Garfunkel sings are: “Hello darkness, my old friend … I've come to talk with you again.” On Rolling Stones’ list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time,” the song is No. 48 and it is believed it may be the No. 1 song to be recorded by so many artists – Elvis Presley, Aretha Franklin, Johnny Cash and 100s more. To hear Simon and Garfunkel’s version from a Central Park concert, as over 60 million already have! -- please CLICK HERE.
* -- SIMON & GARFUNKEL TODAY – Believe it or not, both singers are now 78 years old. Their song, “Sounds of Silence,” was the featured track in the movie, “The Graduate,” which first appeared in movie theaters in 1967 … yes, 53 years ago (!) and its star, Dustin Hoffman, is today 83 years old. You may recall that in the film young Benjamin was seduced by Anne Bancroft (who died in 2005 at age 73) and Ben later fell in love with a young Katharine Ross, who today is 80! Simon and Garfunkel had sensational hits with Mrs. Robinson, The Boxer, and – of course – Bridge over Troubled Water (1970). To hear Art Garfunkel sing this in the Central Park Concert, as over 17 million YouTube had, please CLICK HERE.
* -- THE BOOK – In June of this year, Sanford Greenberg released a book about his life to wide acclaim. It will come as no surprise that the book is entitled, “Hello Darkness, My Old Friend: How Daring Dreams and Unyielding Friendship Turned One Man's Blindness into an Extraordinary Vision for Life.” The Forward in the book is written by Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg. The ‘Final Word’ is written by Margaret Atwood, but the Introduction is written by Roommate No. 2 – Arthur. It is a best-seller on Amazon.
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THE FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN MALCOM & ARTHUR
(No author is credited with this version that is swirling across the Internet)
It is one of the best-loved songs of all time. Simon and Garfunkel's hit ‘The Sound of Silence’ topped the US charts and went platinum in the UK.
It was named among the 20 most performed songs of the 20th century, included in Rolling Stones' 500 Greatest Songs of All Time, and provided the unforgettable soundtrack to 1967 film classic ‘The Graduate.’ But to one man ‘The Sound of Silence’ means much more than just a No 1 song on the radio with its poignant opening lines: "Hello Darkness my old friend, I've come to talk with you again."
Sanford "Sandy" Greenberg is Art Garfunkel's best friend, and reveals in a moving new memoir, named after that lyric, that the song was a touching tribute to their undying bond, and the singer's sacrifice that saved Sandy's life when he unexpectedly lost his sight.
"He lifted me out of the grave," says Sandy, aged 79, who recounts his plunge into sudden blindness, and how Art Garfunkel's selfless devotion gave him reason to live again.
Sandy and Arthur, as Art was then known, met during their first week as students at the prestigious Columbia University in New York.
"A young man wearing an Argyle sweater and corduroy pants and blond hair with a crew cut came over and said, 'Hi, I'm Arthur Garfunkel'," Sandy recalls.
They became roommates, bonding over a shared taste in books, poetry, and music.
"Every night Arthur and I would sing. He would play his guitar and I would be the DJ. The air was always filled with music.”
"Still teenagers, they made a pact to always be there for each other in times of trouble. If one was in extremis, the other would come to his rescue," says Sandy.
They had no idea their promise would be tested so soon. Just months later, Sandy recalls: "I was at a baseball game and suddenly my eyes became cloudy and my vision became unhinged. Shortly after that darkness descended.”
Doctors diagnosed conjunctivitis, assuring it would pass. But days later Sandy went blind, and doctors realized that glaucoma had destroyed his optic nerves. Sandy was the son of a rag-and-bone man. His family, Jewish immigrants in Buffalo, New York, had no money to help him, so he dropped out of college, gave up his dream of becoming a lawyer, and plunged into depression.
"I wouldn't see anyone, I just refused to talk to anybody," says Sandy. "And then unexpectedly Arthur flew in, saying he had to talk to me. He said, 'You're gonna’ come back, aren't you?' "I said: 'No. There's no conceivable way.’
"He was pretty insistent, and finally said, 'Look, I don't think you get it. I need you back there. That's the pact we made together: we would be there for the other in times of crises. I will help you'.”
Together they returned to Columbia University, where Sandy became dependent on Garfunkel's support. Art would walk Sandy to class, bandage his wounds when he fell, and even filled out his graduate school applications.
Garfunkel called himself "Darkness" in a show of empathy. The singer explained: "I was saying, 'I want to be together where you are, in the black'.”
Sandy recalls: "He would come in and say, 'Darkness is going to read to you now.’
“Then he would take me to class and back. He would take me around the city. He altered his entire life so that it would accommodate me.”
Garfunkel would talk about Sandy with his high-school friend Paul Simon, from Queens, New York, as the folk-rock duo struggled to launch their musical careers, performing at local parties and clubs.
Though Simon wrote the song, the lyrics to The Sound of Silence are infused with Garfunkel's compassion as Darkness, Sandy's old friend.
Guiding Sandy through New York one day, as they stood in the vast forecourt of bustling Grand Central Station, Garfunkel said that he had to leave for an assignment, abandoning his blind friend alone in the rush-hour crowd, terrified, stumbling and falling. "I cut my forehead" says Sandy.
"I cut my shins. My socks were bloodied. I had my hands out and bumped into a woman's breasts. It was a horrendous feeling of shame and humiliation.
"I started running forward, knocking over coffee cups and briefcases, and finally I got to the local train to Columbia University. It was the worst couple of hours in my life.”
Back on campus, he bumped into a man, who apologized.
"I knew that it was Arthur's voice," says Sandy. "For a moment I was enraged, and then I understood what happened: that his colossally insightful, brilliant yet wildly risky strategy had worked.”
Garfunkel had not abandoned Sandy at the station, but had followed him the entire way home, watching over him.
"Arthur knew it was only when I could prove to myself I could do it that I would have real independence," says Sandy. "And it worked, because after that I felt that I could do anything.
"That moment was the spark that caused me to live a completely different life, without fear, without doubt. For that I am tremendously grateful to my friend.”
Sandy not only graduated but went on to study for a master's degree at Harvard and Oxford.
While in Britain he received a phone call from his friend - and with it the chance to keep his side of their pact.
Garfunkel wanted to drop out of architecture school and record his first album with Paul Simon but explained: "I need $400 to get started.”
Sandy, by then married to his high school sweetheart, says: "We had $404 in our current account. I said, 'Arthur, you will have your cheque.' "It was an instant reaction, because he had helped me restart my life, and his request was the first time that I had been able to live up to my half of our solemn covenant.”
The 1964 album, ‘Wednesday Morning, 3 AM,’ was a critical and commercial flop, but one of the tracks was The Sound Of Silence, which was released as a single the following year and went to No 1 across the world.
"The Sound of Silence meant a lot, because it started out with the words 'Hello darkness' and this was Darkness singing, the guy who read to me after I returned to Columbia blind," says Sandy.
Simon & Garfunkel went on to have four smash albums, with hits including Mrs. Robinson, The Boxer, and Bridge Over Troubled Waters.
Amazingly, Sandy went on to extraordinary success as an inventor, entrepreneur, investor, presidential adviser, and philanthropist. The father of three, who launched a $3 million prize to find a cure for blindness, has always refused to use a white cane or guide dog.
"I don't want to be 'the blind guy'," he says. "I wanted to be Sandy Greenberg, the human being.”
Six decades later the two men remain best friends, and Garfunkel credits Sandy with transforming his life.
With Sandy, "my real life emerged," says the singer. "I became a better guy in my own eyes and began to see who I was - somebody who gives to a friend.
"I blush to find myself within his dimension. My friend is the gold standard of decency.”
Says Sandy: "I am the luckiest man in the world.”
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Yes, a man with such a friend, is the luckiest man in the world, but only because of the air of others beneath his wings. Find a friend. Far better, be one.
royexum@aol.com