Men, Especially, Learn To Walk Away

Sunday, September 19, 2021
I'm the sister of eight brothers - one of whom never made it out of infancy. I'm the mother of two young men. It never really hit home until my own two young sons were in high school just how easily it is to fall into a trap or to be a victim of an unfounded accusation. I have some doozey of stories I could tell. Both from growing up with seven brothers and my own two sons. But I'll stick to a couple about my sons. 

There were some pretty scary moments while my two sons were in high school being chased by hot in the pants females.
Once I actually had to explain to a very prominent father, a judge, to have a talk with his daughter when he called my home and threatened my son and my family. His daughter had gotten hold of our private home phone number through a friend they both knew, and she was calling relentlessly day and night. I explained to this 'judge' it wasn't my son who was calling his daughter, it was his daughter who was relentlessly calling my home day and night. My son never spoke to her on the phone. I believe the friend of both my son and the girl may have attended the same private schools. That happened to my youngest son.

My oldest son: While the oldest was in high school, I had to keep getting our phone number changed to a private number to the point the phone company wanted to know why I was needing to change my phone number so often. I explained the situation and they agreed to change it one more time. My oldest son swore he wasn't giving out our private phone number to girls at school. Girls from school were calling sometimes midnight, 1, 2, 3 in the morning. We couldn't unplug the phone or take it off the hook due to work and other reasons. This was a time when cellphones weren't as popular or not reasonably affordable. Pagers were more the thing then. Well, we later discovered other teens working in the school office during school hours were going through school records and pulling the names of boys either they had a crush on or their friends had set their sights on and that's how the girls were getting hold of our private number. And the notes. Wow. Those notes the girls were passing out at school to boys would make a hooker blush. I held on to those notes for a few years after my sons were out of school, just in case. These weren't your run of the mill girls from broken one-parent homes either. 

We tend to not view females as the sexual aggressors. But we females can be, and catty with it too. 

I speak from all angles. As a sister, a mother a survivor of all kinds, including. 

Hopefully, we'll never have to suffer ever again young men hanging from poplar trees, bridge rafters or lamp posts like holiday ornaments and ' 'strange fruit' or where entire thriving communities were burned to the ground over a mere accusation. 

And also, hopefully the pendulum won't swing so far back to the way it once was that a victim of sexual assault was laughed out of the courtroom, or told she could have just "kept her legs closed" to avoid being raped, or even arrested for walking into a police station wanting to report a rape. These are true happenings from prior times. But if we're not careful, both are possible. We have to also remember there are 'gray areas' and accusations are just that, accusations, until proven otherwise. It's all "alleged" until. 

There are also setups. In today's heated, angry, vindictive political climate and you know you're in a heated race to win an election, you have to take even more precaution. If someone makes advances towards you don't just walk, trot or tap dance away. Run. Run. Like the lynch mobs are on your tail. That 10 minutes, if that, of excited pleasure really isn't worth the heartache that will follow. 

Brenda Washington 


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