Jerry Summers: Turmoil At The Tank

  • Monday, December 11, 2023
  • Jerry Summers
Jerry Summers
Jerry Summers

On Thursday, Oct. 5, 2023, a now proclaimed former supporter expressed their disdain for the present policy of “Inclusion, Equity and Diversity” at the northern anchor site adjacent to the Tennessee River formerly proclaimed in a loving way as “Jack's Fish Tank” (Tennessee Aquarium).

It is undisputed that the influx of soft drink money and other generous Chattanoogans in a wide variety of industries and professions were the catalysts for the “re-imagining” (a popular phrase) of the area adjacent to Ross’ Landing.

Other more vocal spokespersons have responded on the delicate issue stated in the “official flyer” mailed to other potential donors acknowledging the availability of accepting legal tender and expressing happiness that the beautiful glass structure would be an “official sponsor of Chattanooga Pride” with a so-called “rainbow sponsor who donated $15,000 to support a spot in the parade” (Sunday, October 8, 2023), a booth at the Chattanooga Convention Festival, and a sponsor logo on the Chattanooga Pride website.

It is necessary to avoid the vigorous debate on the topic under discussion by the former generous donor between the Baptist-Methodist side and the positions advocated by the Episcopalian-Non-Denominational religious populations.

(The attendance of minors attending “shows” displaying talented and beautifully dressed folks in clothing, wigs, and makeup of the opposite gender is beyond the scope of this literary contribution.)

This lingering dispute must be resolved quickly in order to avoid permanent psychological damage to the real victims in this contest - the children of the Aquarium!

Included within said definition would be “Tommy the Trigender Turtle, Sammy the Straight Shark, Marty the Moray Eel, Betty the Non-Binary Bream, Lucy the Lesbian Lizard, and an almost unlimited number of species involved in this public airing of a controversy that affects many.

It should be pointed out that out of 365 known species of turtles, 161 of them are threatened with extinction by the International Union for Conservation of Nature (UNC) and any discriminatory action against Tommy (and his best friends) should be strictly forbidden, rigorously monitored, and prosecuted!

A recent turtle abuse case in the state of Georgia points out the need for reconciliation in the local disagreement over possible sexual gender preferences in our progressive community. 15 protected kinfolk of “Tommy” were suffering from long term malnutrition, bacterial and fungal infections, sepsis, and shell “deformities”, according to a court appointed veterinarian.

The career criminal who had previously been convicted of smuggling protected and endangered turtles between the United States and Hong Kong is charged with 15 felony counts of Aggravated Cruelty to Animals and remains free on an almost “no bail” ridiculous amount of $8,250.

The “turtles included 11 rare albino red-eared sliders, one brown red-eared slider, and two pink-bellied side necks.” The final turtle victim of said cruelty was a Chinese golden thread turtle which is considered endangered in the wild but is legal to breed in captivity.

(The “children” need a united show of love, affection, and financial support. Perhaps the local Unity Group and/or retired state/federal judges could mediate the disagreement for the children.)

* * *

You can reach Jerry Summers at jsummers@summersfirm.com

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