Charles Finney: Grandpa - The Voice Of The IRS

Thursday, March 25, 2021 - by Charles Finney

Grandpa would do anything he could to please Grandma. He would, when he had the money, buy her anything she wanted. Grandpa always said he did not mind paying taxes on things he bought, but he did mind on what the government men spent it on. If he did not have the money, he tried to please her with household chores. Then on one colorful autumn night, Grandma came to him and said I need some laying hens and a rooster.

Well Grandpa went about the other farmers, then to the local farmers co-op and got Grandma some fine laying hens.

Grandpa used to say, “Listen to that sweet cackle sound. Those hens are laying eggs for my breakfast tomorrow." The rooster he got Grandma was a fine bird. The only thing wrong with it was its voice. It had none. A sweet cock a doodle do was all he could muster. Grandma said that bird could not wake up the hens to start their laying.

Grandpa told Grandma, "Let's wait till spring to see if the rooster voice improves. If not then you decide." So Grandma did the only thing possible that early Spring. She got another rooster. What they called a banty rooster. Half the size of Grandpa rooster but with a voice loud enough to wake up the few people buried in a cemetery just a mile down the road.

Grandma told Grandpa, "Just you watch them hens get up early now. They will be up so early laying eggs that tomorrow morning you may get a double portion. Just you listen and watch.” The next morning that banty rooster crowed so loud and with an irritating crackle. Every hen laid four eggs. Now most hens lay five or six in a week. But four in one night! The sound of the little rooster made all the difference.

Well mid April was approaching and even though Grandpa enjoyed his many eggs for breakfast, and lunch, he was growing tired of that irritating rooster squawk. Grandpa told Grandma that he did as she requested. He listened and watched.

Grandpa reminded Grandma of the sermon last Sunday at church. He said, "You remember those verses the preacher read from Mark 13:33-37. Take ye heed, watch and pray: for ye know not when the time is. 34 For the Son of Man is as a man taking a far journey, who left his house, and gave authority to his servants, and to every man his work, and commanded the porter to watch.35 Watch ye therefore: for ye know not when the master of the house cometh, at even, or at midnight, or at the cock crowing, or in the morning: 36 Lest coming suddenly he find you sleeping. 37 And what I say unto you I say unto all, Watch."

Grandpa told Grandma that he believed what the preacher said and that Jesus would come again. We must always be watchful. For when he returns, there will be judgment and those not under His grace will pay for their sins.

Grandpa went out to the barn. There he found that old loud mouth banty rooster. He said, "It taxed me but I told him that soon it will be April 15th. And he better watch and not sleep for the ax man cometh. There will be judgment. The Irritating Rooster Squawk (IRS) would only be an echo from days gone by." Sunday dinner, while somewhat small, was bountiful. No squawk about it.

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Charles Finney
ccfinney@yahoo.com


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