Roy Exum
I happen to know a big bunch of you are going to “sleep in” tomorrow, this because of Memorial Day when we celebrate our noble soldiers and Armed Forces women who gave up their tomorrows so that we might live a life each of the fallen dared for us. Tomorrow is not Veteran’s Day (Nov.11 this year) when we heartily salute those who have valiantly served our country, whereas Memorial Day is reserved for those who went with our flag and died for it.
Because of the holiday, allow me to share some ‘lazy’ vignettes that are too long for the Saturday Funnies but too short for a mainstream column
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14 THINGS IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN
By DAVE BARRY
1.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight saving time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. One thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
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“FIVE MINUTES MORE, DAD .. JUST FIVE MINUTES MORE”
“COME ON, over there,” she said, pointing to a little boy in a red sweater who was gliding down the slide.
“He's a fine looking boy" the man said. "That's my son on the swing in the blue sweater." Then, looking at his watch, he called to his son. "What do you say we go, Todd?" Todd pleaded, "Just five more minutes, Dad. Please? Just five more minutes."
The man nodded and Todd continued to swing to his heart's content. Minutes passed and the father stood and called again to his son. "Time to go now?" Again Todd pleaded, "Five more minutes, Dad. Just five more minutes." The man smiled and said, "O.K."
"My, you certainly are a patient father," the woman responded.
The man smiled and then said, "My older son Tommy was killed by a drunk driver last year while he was riding his bike near here. I never spent much time with Tommy and now I'd give anything for just five more minutes with him. I've vowed not to make the same mistake with Todd. He thinks he has five more minutes to swing. The truth is, I get Five more minutes to watch him play."
Life is all about making priorities, what are your priorities? Give someone you love 5 more minutes of your time today. (Author unknown)
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THE BLUE-RIBBON EXERCISE
A teacher in New York decided to honor each of her seniors in high school by telling them the difference they each made. Using a process developed by Helice Bridges of Del Mar, California, she called each student to the front of the class, one at a time.
First she told them how the student made a difference to her and the class. Then she presented each of them with a blue ribbon imprinted with gold letters which read, “Who I Am Makes a Difference.”
After the teacher decided to do a class project to see what kind of impact recognition would have on a community, she gave each of the students three more ribbons and instructed them to go out and spread this acknowledgment ceremony. Then they were to follow up on the results. see who honored whom and report back to the class in about a week. One of boys in the class went to a junior executive in a nearby company and honored him for helping him with his career planning. He gave him a blue ribbon and put it on his shirt.
Then he gave him two extra ribbons, and said, “We’re doing a class project on recognition, and we’d like you to go out, find somebody to honor, give them a blue ribbon, then give them the extra blue ribbon so they can acknowledge a third person to keep this acknowledgment ceremony going. Then please report back to me and tell me what happened.
“Later that day, the executive went in to see his boss, who had been noted, by the way, as being kind of a grouchy fellow. He sat his boss down and he told him that he deeply admired him for being a creative genius. The boss seemed very surprised. The executive asked him if he would accept the gift of the blue ribbon and would he give him permission to put it on him. His surprised boss said: “Well sure. The executive took the blue ribbon and placed it right on his boss’s jacket above his heart. As he gave him the last extra ribbon, he said, “Would you do me a favor? Would you take this extra ribbon and pass it on by honoring somebody else? The young boy who first gave me the ribbons is doing a project in school and we want to keep this recognition ceremony going and find out how it affects people.”
That night the boss came home to his 14-year-old son and sat him down. He said, “The most incredible thing happened to me today. I was in my office and one of the junior executives came in and told me he admired me and gave me a blue ribbon for being a creative genius. Imagine, he thinks I’m a creative genius! Then he puts this blue ribbon that says “Who I am makes a difference” on my jacket just above my heart. He gave me an extra ribbon and asked me to find somebody else to honor.
“ As I was driving home tonight, I started thinking about whom I would honor with this ribbon and I thought about you. I want to honor you. My days are hectic and when I come home I don’t pay a lot of attention to you. Sometimes I scream at you for not getting good enough grades in school and for your bedroom being a mess, but somehow tonight, I just wanted to sit here and … well, just let you know that you do make a difference to me. Besides your mother, you are the most important person in my life. You’re a great kid, and I love you! The startled boy started to sob and sob, and he couldn’t stop crying.
His whole body shook, He looked up at his father and said through his tears,’ I was planning on committing suicide tomorrow, Dad, because I didn’t think you loved me, Now I don’t need to --
"Chicken Soup for the Soul"