Jerry Summers
Although it is a little early for the hot days of August for our canine creatures, the massive immigration of pet toting pals from the North, West, etc. justifies a discussion on the benefits of having a pure pedigree or mutt for a companion in the social society of ‘Nooga. (Cats will be discussed later – maybe).
In the older pollution-filled days of the Dynamo of Dixie, the smoothest new acquaintance line for a self-appointed stud was to saunter up to the bar and ask an unescorted lady (okay?) if they could buy them a beer, shot of moonshine or chaser for the substance in their hip flask.
Times have changed slightly in the “New Atlanta” and walking the dog down one of the vast traffic boulevards in Gig City and letting the toy poodle and Aleutian Bloodhound nuzzle noses is a great icebreaker for the pet owners.
The sharing of a poop scooper and an extra pair of plastic gloves is a great move down the avenue of amore to a potential puppy love relationship.
A recent article in one of those “up East” authoritative medical journals recommends that the willingness to assume the loving role of owner of a pup and commit to the 10-15- year additional financial obligations to your student loan balance of 10-20 years ago may turn them into a second Romeo rather than a social wallflower.
With the low costs of dog food, veterinarian bills, boarding (only if you leave “Sidney” or “Missy” behind on your next trip to Monte Carlo), cruel surgical operations for both male, female, etc. to eliminate their opportunity to have offspring, and estimate of the cost of lifetime care may vary significantly from $1,000 to $100,000 over their lifetime you will have unlimited moments of joy from your pet pal.
But the following medical literature findings scientifically prove beneficial to the mental and physical well-being to Mom/Dad, etc.:
1. HEALTHIER HEART – A 2019 study determined that dog owners were 31 percent less likely to die from a heart attack or stroke than non-owners. Lifetime benefits of ownership continued for 12 years to establish a 33 percent lower death rate from a heart attack and 27 percent lower death rate from a stroke.
2. STRESS RELIEF – A second separate study in 2022 clearly shows petting a dog stimulates the human brains prefrontal cortex which helps regulate emotions. It is also correct that “dogs even play the role of therapists.” The conclusion is also reported that “dogs are always so happy to see you. (if they don’t bite your hand off);
3. SOCIAL COMPANIONS – For us old folks, dogs can eliminate the “loneliness and social isolation” that are among the biggest health threats for the elderly generation; and
4. WEIGHT LOSS – For the portly part of the population, further research reveals that on average, people with pedigree/mutt dogs walk about 20 minutes more per day than the fat, sad, alcohol and drug abusers who have never enjoyed the eternal love of Catfish (LG), Millie (C.C. & L.C.) Buddy (M.S.) etc. (Perhaps there could be additional legislation passed in the special session called by our Governor scheduled for August 21, 2023 in the Tennessee General on public safety and constitutional rights that could be expanded to include greater pet care in the tradition of the ASPCA (Only the cruel and non-caring don’t know what those letters stand for in critter language).
It seems feasible that each Circuit/Chancery Court judge deciding divorce cases should include a mandatory clause in any decree requiring that in the best interest of male/female, etc. parties that a pooch be placed in joint custody, with liberal visitation rights, and equal sharing of the costs of raising the cherished companion up to a $100,000 minimum. Of course, the five members of the highest judicial tribunal in the state could accomplish the same by Rule of Court)
P.S. After the slogan Gig City finally wears thin, perhaps the Chattanooga City fathers/mothers, etc. could adopt a new tourist/immigrant attracting epithet of “The Canine City”! (Sorry kittens)
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You can reach Jerry Summers at jsummers@summersfirm.com