Jerry Summers: The Egg And I

The above phrase was the title of a popular 1947 movie starring Fred McMurray and Claudette Colbert.

With current vigorous law enforcement efforts to crack down on the importation of deadly drugs such as fentanyl and cocaine, the crime of choice by law violators is “egg thievery”.

With the price of eggs and poultry going skyward in February-March 2025 the subject may attract more readers than just the frustrated drivers that travel over the remainder of the 80,000  potholes in the Scenic City that were barely mentioned in the hotly contested non partisan mayoral race in Gig City in 2025.

With illegal drug prices under attack by the present local, state, and national “good guys” (ladies, etc.) groups stealing large portions of potential omelets is the new big crime of 2025.

The hijacking of railroad cars and distribution trailers containing the poultry prized product have resulted in a nationwide epidemic of fat cholesterol addicts suffering from withdrawal from the “three over easy” syndrome along with four slices of bacon, four slices of buttered toast, etc. in their daily diet.

While the present drug czar in the Trump administration is preoccupied with the control of the Mexican (renamed USA?) and Canadian (renamed USA?) borders, it might be time for a creation of an “Egg Czar”.

After the trillion dollar DOGE Czar puts the American economy back on a profit level margin the replacement of chickens and millions of eggs laying hens (sexist?) should a simple task.

100,000 organic eggs valued at more than $40,000 were recently heisted in south central Pennsylvania and every Waffle House in the country is under the threat of having their egg supply being stolen by cowardly thieves; it is imperative that a sub-committee be immediately formed in Congress to address what is rapidly endangering the health of our nation.

The incumbent Republican 3^rd Congressional District representative in the Swamp represents the voice of many roosters, pullets, and hen owners in the majority of his ten county domain.

With the lowering of gas prices due to car purchases almost exclusively buying non-gas guzzling Tesla war wagons, the hottest issue in the next political sweepstakes may be the control of poultry chicken coops?

The acceptance of a presidential appointment to be the first “Egg Czar” based on prior legislative victories is practically assured unless the incumbent “lays an egg!” (oops!)