Best Of Grizzard: Consumption Of Alcohol

  • Friday, January 27, 2023
  • Jerry Summers

The exploding population of the Gig City that has been deprived of some of the history of Chattanooga except for the rehashing of the Civil War and needs to be informed that before January 1, 1973, local laws and ordinances did not allow liquor by the drink.

Of course, we had the private clubs for the elite and moonshine for the blood and guts venues of the less fortunate.

Lewis Grizzard (LG) was known to take a drink sometimes to an excess in his later years, but this did not preclude him from giving his viewpoints on the absence of moderation in his drinking.

In his 1985 bestseller, “Shoot Low, Boys – They’re Riding’ Shetland Ponies” (Ballantine Books) he gives his sage advice that one more drink won’t hurt you if:

1. It’s a special occasion, like Happy Hour.

2. Something from your past has been eating at you lately, like the death of your dog Skippy when you were four.

3. You drink to a worthy cause, like finding a cure for Leon Spinks (heavyweight fighter).

4. You use lots of ice.

5. The bottle was a gift.

6. It was almost empty anyway.

7. You make it last longer than the National Hockey League season, which is the only thing that lasts longer than pregnancy.

8. You drink it out of a coffee cup.

(When you undergo the rigors of four aortic value replacements, four interesting marriages, three divorces and die at the young age of 47 his comments hit close to home.)

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Jerry Summers
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