Best Of Grizzard - The Wit And Wisdom (Article No. 3)

  • Tuesday, February 7, 2023

In a 1995 tribute to Lewis Grizzard (Villard Books) following his premature death in 1994 his fourth wife, Dedra, and friends published a paperback that repeated a variety of topics covered by the late humorist in his syndicated columns across the country.

“Grizzardisms, The Wit and Wisdom of Lewis Grizzard '' discusses some of his views on the subject of Religion, although the slighting of Thanksgiving had not yet come into vogue during his lifetime as it is now celebrated (or lack thereof).

However, he did make several comments on religion that are worthy of mentioning in his unofficial campaign to antagonize the Speech Police:

1.) “There is nothing like a good fight among Baptists.”;

2.) “I remain convinced that if you live in the Northeast and don’t go to Sunday school, when you die you go to Newark.”;

3.) “I’m sure it’s in the Bible somewhere that instant grits are an unholy hybrid of the real thing.”;

4.) You recall the Sixth Commandment. Moses tried to get God to forget it in the first place, but God didn’t know at the time that the Playboy Channel would come along on cable and make everybody want to commit adultery.”;

5.) “I once saw faith healer Ernest Angley pray and a little girl who had one leg that was shorter than the other suddenly had legs of the same length, and she jumped up and did the Jerk, right on stage.”;

6.) “I’m convinced humor is just as good for the soul as watching a TV evangelist.”;

7.) “So what’s Buddhism, a religion for fat people?”;

8.) “I’m predicting the world isn’t going to come to an end anytime soon. There’s too much unresolved, like whether or not Elvis is still alive, Charles Stanley can stay on television, and if there will be another Rambo sequel.”;

9.) I didn’t have any out-of-body experiences. I had indeed seen a bright, beautiful light and had followed it, but it turned out to be a Kmart tire sale.”;

10.) “I just hope heaven doesn’t run out of Camels and fried chicken.”

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You can reach Jerry Summers at

Jerry Summers
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