Diana Walters
If you (or someone you care about) are moving to a senior living community, remind yourself that it takes time to adjust to any kind of change, especially as we get older. For most people, it takes three to six months to acclimate—perhaps less if you are eager for the change, longer if you are being forced to make a change. But even if you are excited about a move, there will be an adjustment period.
Only a few years ago, I eagerly embraced change—I changed jobs, homes and activities at the drop of a hat (FYI: the expression ‘drop of a hat’ originated in the 19th century where it was common to signal the beginning of a fight or a race by dropping a hat.) I’ll soon be age 77 and no longer become excited at the prospect of change.
However, Rich and I will be making a drastic lifestyle change within the next year when we move into shared housing with my daughter and son-in-law.
Yes, I’m excited. And apprehensive. Yes, I’m eager to spend more time with family. And reluctant to leave our home of 20 years.
What a tangle of mixed emotions!
So I’m relating what I’m feeling with how you may be feeling if you’re moving into a senior community, even though we’ll be moving into a community of only four people who love each another, while you may be moving into a large community full of strangers. But no matter what the circumstances, a change is stressful.
If you’re still in the process of choosing a senior community, here are some tips based on my many years of working in independent, assisted and nursing home communities:
First of all, pray for wisdom in making the decision about your new home.
Then you will want to visit several communities. When you’ve narrowed down your choices, visit the one you believe you want a few times before deciding where you’re going to spend the rest of your life. You’ll probably arrange a formal tour the first time, but you’ll want to return to talk with other residents, perhaps have a meal at the facility and attend an activity.
Look over the activity calendar. Ask about any programs that interest you. Find out about transportation to outside events, to grocery stores and to medical appointments.
As you tour, talk to people to get a feel of the friendliness (or lack of friendliness) of staff and residents. Does the place feel cold and lifeless or are residents visiting each other and doing things? Find out what the procedure is in an emergency; if you fall, for example. Ask about mail and newspaper delivery, Wifi and television hookup. Ask about the hours of the dining room, how many meals are offered, and whether you have food choices, especially if you require a special diet. Other residents will be the best source of information on food quality, but ask several in order to get a more accurate picture. In my experience, some residents hate the food while others love the same food.
After the move:
When your belongings are moved in, the real adjustment begins. If you are a person of faith, begin with prayer and trust that God will be with you in the transition.
Remember - it will take several months to feel settled. Pace yourself. Gradually get things organized, but while organizing, learn about your new environment.
Even if you’re an introvert, walk around the facility and say hello to staff and residents. There will be residents you won’t want to become friends with, but you won’t know which are friend material until you get acquainted.
If you’re having trouble finding your way around the facility, ask staff for another tour or ask a friendly resident to show you where activities, dining, etc., take place. They will probably feel good about being able to assist you.
Go to the meals even if you feel awkward the first time. If you are assigned a table in the dining room and people are not friendly, ask for another table.
Get an activity calendar and circle which programs you want to try. Talk to the activity staff so they know who you are and what you like to do.
Get to know your neighbors. Some you’ll like, some you won’t, but expect the best.
Invite your family and friends to visit. Find out whether they can eat with you in the dining room. Usually there is a charge for guests.
Remain positive. And tell yourself this is a new adventure from which you will learn and grow if you let yourself.
Trust God to lead you as you remember the words of Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
May we all move forward to face the future knowing we’re not alone.
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Diana Walters has enjoyed a long career working with senior adults as social worker, activity director, and volunteer coordinator. She recently retired (at age 76) from paid employment and is now able to devote more time to her writing and her husband (in that order?) She has written devotionals for The Quiet Hour and Upper Room and been published in six Chicken Soup for the Soul books, but she is excited to be writing for and about her fellow Baby Boomers. She can be reached at dianalwalters@comcast.net.