The recent act of genius by the Gig City town council in changing the archaic zoning laws by reducing the size of vacant acreage from 7500 to 5000 square feet in order to increase the number of multi dwellings is historic in changing the archaic 1961 zoning laws to benefit the masses.
However a potential collateral problem of massive consequences may be on the horizon (cliché?)
Fortunately the problem is not new and once again the immortal words of historian Lewis Grizzard (LG) are prophetic and there has been a legal precedent that arose several years ago in his 1991 (Villard Books) best seller “You Can’t Put Boogie Woogie on the King of Rock and Roll”:
A 33-year-old female legal assistant was recently acquitted by jurors in Houston for entering a men's rest room during a concert, which is illegal in Texas. George Strait had been onstage.
I was at a Willie Nelson concert in Atlanta a couple of years ago when a convoy of ladies (more than two) stormed into a men's room where I happened to be standing at the time.
"We just can't wait, boys," said the spokesintruders.
Does this happen at concerts involving non-country singers? I suppose it has, but it likely happens more at country concerts because (1) there's more beer drinking going on; (2) country- music fans tend to be a little more down-to-earth; and (3) unlike rap concerts, you're not afraid you'll miss the dirty parts while you go to the bathroom.
The woman in Houston, DW, said, you guessed it, the reason she went into the men's rest room was the line to the ladies' was just too long.
I certainly can sympathize with a woman going into the men's room when nature's call has reached the critical stage. The desire for relief will cause members of both sexes to do something they might not do otherwise.
Women sportswriters going into men's locker rooms is a professional matter. A woman going into a men's room because she just can't wait has to do with the basic human urge to stop pain.
Men get in and get out of their rest room. Tarry too long and somebody in the back of the line will embarrass you by screaming, "Hey, buddy. You gonna [go] all day?"
But women must look at who's really to blame when they have to resort to going into a men's toilet facility.
They must blame themselves. If women would go into their own rest rooms cognizant of the fact their sisters are waiting on them, this problem could be solved quite easily.
The question of why women take so long in the bathroom has always intrigued me. I even wrote a country song about the issue, titled "When My Love Returns From the Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old to Care?" (He did!)
After the song followed a book of the same name, and Hollywood will be out with the movie as soon as enough extras can be located for the long-line-to-the-ladies-rest-room scene.
To put an end to this problem and keep the issue out of our courts, women need to pick it up a bit. Try these ideas:
1. Keep your undergarments to a minimum when you go to a concert.
2. Don't wear anything with a lot of snaps, zippers-or a key. Why not give Velcro a chance?
3. Comb your hair and powder your nose somewhere else. There are people in line turning blue.
4. If somebody asks you, "Where did you get those darling earrings?," wait until you both get outside to answer.
For further instructions, you might want to pick up my, soon-to-be-published sequel to When My Love... etc., titled Is It Time for a Shot Clock in Women's Rest Rooms?
(In today’s more tolerant society (progressive) LG’s sexist comments appear to be more intolerable. However, the author’s previous suggestion that additional beautifully designed portable toilets be placed at every intersection in the Inner City with appropriate legal advertising logos from the local and out of town barristers and solicitors has gone unaddressed by the reigning politicos.
However with the entry of the “World’s Largest Personal Injury Firm” coming into the area costly competition is getting more expensive in the media markets.
Unfortunately LG’s voice to update the soon to be increased problem and provide a solution was silenced by his unfortunate death in 1994.
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If you have additional information about one of Mr. Summers' articles or have suggestions or ideas about a future Chattanooga area historical piece, please contact him at jsummers@summersfirm.com)
Jerry Summers