Diana Walters
Boomers, we can learn from people who are in every stage of life. I going to tell you about a group of seniors who attended a group I’ve led for many years.
Out in the world, away from “the old-folks home,” as Pat called it, the ladies who gathered on Monday afternoons may have never met. If they had, they might not have become friends.
But they became the staunchest of allies, giving advice, praying for one another, and helping during sickness.
Most had lived around Chattanooga their entire lives, but even the “Yankees” were accepted and loved. I was one of those, and I was proud to be their leader.
When I first went to work at a senior community, I was surprised to learn that elders are not always tolerant of each other’s differences. I heard more than one resident insult someone who became confused or lost. And I’d seen disabled individuals pushed aside because they moved too slowly. I was aware that intolerance was often the way of the world, but I expected seniors to know better.
Obviously, not all had learned the lesson.
Things were different in my group. These women accepted each other despite memory lapses, hearing loss, dementia, and incontinence.
Maggie was the oldest at 100. She was hearing impaired and suffered bouts of depression that sometimes caused her to stay in her room for days on end. On her good days, she was the first to arrive. June was the youngest member. She was only 60, but brain injured and physically challenged enough to need the protective environment of a senior community. Zelma had been able to carry on a conversation a year ago, but her dementia had progressed, and now she said very little. When she did speak, she said things like “My daddy is good to me.” She always carried a stuffed bear. Wilma, too, was cognitively challenged, but still talked. A lot. She repeated her stories over and over. The others had varying disabilities that brought them to live at the facility.
I began each meeting with prayer, a devotional, then introduced a topic for conversation. One day I told a joke about a wish-granting genie, then asked what they would wish for.
Pat teased, “I’d wish I had a bear like Zelma’s.” She patted Zelma on the shoulder and smiled at her. Pat made sure Zelma attended meetings even though she was unable to contribute to the conversation. “We’re still her friends.”
June wished for a million dollars so the facility could have a swimming pool. Winnie wished to be back in her own beautiful home. Sandy wanted to be as healthy as she’d been at the age of seventy—twenty years ago. Maggie wanted world peace.
All but two of the women were widows. Lois, the most recent widow, became teary, wishing Jim was still with her. The ladies sitting on either side hugged her. Everyone offered words of comfort. Someone said, “Let’s pray for her right now.” And we did.
Wanting to close the meeting on a happy note, I asked everyone to share something they were grateful for. Lois spoke up first, “I don’t know what I’d do without my friends in this room.”
Winnie, too, appreciated the group. June was thankful that even though she couldn’t drive any more, she could go places on the van. Zelma said her daddy took care of her.
Maggie concluded by saying, “I’m grateful to live in a community where friends care about me in spite of my faults. I’m glad we can get together to pray. And I’m thankful God loves me, and someday I’ll be with Him.”
The women in this group have mourned the loss of husbands, homes, and children. According to the Beatitudes, God will comfort them. In turn, they comfort each other. They are peacemakers, showing other residents in the community how to be kind, patient, and tolerant. They are merciful, accepting each other’s flaws.
These older adults integrate the Beatitudes into their daily lives. I’m their leader, but they teach me more than I teach them.
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Diana Walters retired from paid employment at age 76. Now 77, she is again working half-time, volunteering, writing and spending time with her husband. She believes we all need a purpose to get up every day and not having one is the downfall of many a senior. One of Diana’s purposes is working on this weekly column. She enjoys hearing from readers and can be reached at dianalwalters@comcast.net.