Jerry Summers
Having suffered through McCallie School, graduate Ted Turner’s one game managerial career as head of the former Beantown Braves, one can relate to the next to last place standing in the National League East Division in the capitol of the Peach State. The pain of being 16 games out of first place (July 30, 2025) in the race towards a playoff position is offset somewhat by the recollection of Hank Aaron hitting his 715th home run to surpass Babe Ruth as the record holder in the pre-steroid generation.
The pitching feats of John Smoltz, Tom Glavine, Greg Maddox, known as the “Big Three,” offset the eviction of “Chief Noc-A-Homa” and his shapely companion, “Princess Win-A-Lotta,” from their love nest and teepee in the left field stands at Atlanta Stadium.
Only the tomahawk chop and mascot moniker, “Braves,” have survived the present change in baseball history of the Cleveland Indians (Guardians) and Washington Redskins (Commanders).
A rumor that a provision in “The Big Beautiful Bill” passed overwhelmingly by Congress to restore the prior historical names of the two squads proved to be just that - a rumor.
A second area of unanswered inquiry is whether and how much wampum has been donated to any native born recipients in any Atlantic Ocean state east of Hotlanta to preserve the use of the offensive name on the home team white jerseys.
With faithful (but sometimes fickle) fans turning to high school and college football games in the fall, (Go Dawgs- Ooga) attendance is expected to drop off significantly, which might adversely affect the ability of the club stockholders to pay out multi-million dollar contracts to light hitting batters and pitchers with losing records in 2026.
However the folks in the municipality of the beloved Union general in his “March to the Sea” fame, (William Tecumseh Sherman) have come up with an entertainment gimmick that might solve all of the “racism” and financial problems of all concerned.
The “Savannah Bananas” are the rage of ESPN2 viewers and fans in Washington (50,000 plus) and Baltimore (45,000 plus) in the stands to watch games that provide two hours (time limit of all games) of riotous laughs, gimmicks and trick baseball moves that also require a high degree of athleticism.
Where else can you find a 12-foot tall pitcher/batter on wooden stilts who can hit a home run or strike out an opponent at home plate?
The ancient rules of baseball rarely apply, but catching a fly ball by an outfielder behind the back or a shortstop throwing a missile to first base between their legs is exciting.
A baby race between young toddlers crawling toward mom on the playing field adds a family touch to the sold out stadiums’ atmosphere.
A change in the logo to “Atlanta Bananas” will eliminate all of the political rhetoric towards our nation’s leader (DJT) and allow him to focus his modest ways on minor topics such as Ukraine, inflation, immigration, etc.
(A collateral benefit of saving the money that goes to the eastern seashore state might allow the next-to-last place squad to purchase some players that can actually bunt the ball and possibly win some of those one-run losses that might get them into the playoffs!)
“Go Bananas”