Jerry Summers: Lawyer Joke Book

  • Monday, April 24, 2023
  • Jerry Summers
Jerry Summers
Jerry Summers

With Law Day being celebrated on May 17 in Gig City with a luncheon at the former Blue Cross downtown location now housing the gold-plated Westin Hotel, a festive but serious event is planned.

In order to present a more diversified twist on the anticipated professional approach to our current legal and judicial systems by guest speaker and former 80th Attorney General of the United States, and current Dean of Belmont University Law School, Alberto R. Gonzales, the above publication is recommended.

Although circulated for sale in 1991 (Published by Sid Behrman – Barnes & Noble Books) a copy may be found on Google from various sources.

The collection of many traditional short historical jokes about the legal profession are funny but rather bland in light of the current less favorable comments by some segments of the public.

In 128 pages the author repeats hundreds of stories handed down through many years that includes jokes by prominent individuals:

1. There was a young lawyer who showed up at a revival meeting and was asked to deliver a prayer. Unprepared, he gave a prayer straight from his lawyer’s heart: “Stir up much strife amongst thy people, Lord,” he prayed, “lest thy servant perish.” Senator Sam Ervin – North Carolina.

2. The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer. – Henry Kissinger – Secretary of the State

3. For certain people, after 50, litigation takes the place of sex. – Gore Vidal – Author

4. A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, any more than a good mortician wants to finish the job and then have the patient sit up on the table. – Jean Kerr – Author

5. Roy Cohn, one of the meanest and most successful lawyers in town, wrote his autobiography last year. It began, “I borrowed $5,000 from my father so I could study law. My first case came when my father sued me for $5,000.”

6. It takes a whole lot of suits to keep a lawyer well dressed. – Henny Youngman – Comedian

(Even lawyers can sometimes laugh at themselves. They are often the most successful!)

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You can reach Jerry Summers at jsummers@summersfirm.com

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