Jerry Summers
An anonymous member from above the soon-to-be safe, spacious and crime-free thoroughfare area of the Nov. 25, 1863, site that affectionately was known as “Bragg’s Folly” has given a report on the up-to-date installation of speed bumps.
After the creation of “Save the Children” campaign by a concerned mama at the northern side of the Ridge Cut (Olgiati's Folly No. 2) the campaign to slow down speeders and guarantee thieves a better view of prospective goodies to pilfer later in the evening has progressed quickly.
One disgruntled former accountant has reportedly stated that there are plenty of “natural speed humps” that are present to slow down any motorists brave enough to venture onto the narrow un-patched pothole premises. (Obviously he does not give credence to the sand bucket and shovel campaign of the Gig City’s personal “independent” hard-working leader to eliminate all 80,000 inherited potholes before the end of his first term.)
The ex-CPA allegedly made the comment that repaving/fixing the crevices should have been performed before the numerous rubber impediments were being installed.
Therein lies the big question!
In 1929 as an inducement (government legal bribe) the good folks of the City of Missionary Ridge were promised that the wagon trail northward from the Peach State boundary to Glass Street in East Chattanooga would be paved. In 1930 that promise was kept but other than patching the prior fissures to the proposed adjacent speed hump creations have not been repaired in only 94 years.
Query: Does the federal government (National Park Service) or the Gig City bear the taxpayer expense to effectively upgrade the political football that has been passed more times than the number of quarterbacks selected in the April 27-30, 2023 NFL Draft attempted in their college careers?
With our multi-term Congressional Representative (CF) in an uphill battle for re-election with the free spending banker from McMinn County (JK) the welfare recipients of Missionary Ridge are entitled to a paving resolution after years of frustration.
(Rumors persist that a class action lawsuit over busted tires and broken axles, mental anguish, and punitive damages are already being considered by our “local”, “best”, “gotta get”, etc. legal experts that engage in philanthropy for the public causes!)
PS: Perhaps the responsible paving party could take down, melt those obnoxious history statutes and plaques, sell the residue, and donate proceeds to other modern artistic symbols in the Inner City?
NEWSFLASH: The black garbage bag covered pole signs on S. Crest Road have quietly appeared in September suggesting that the historic and new immigrant owners are shortly going to join the prestigious group of prospective theft victims mentioned in the above paragraph.
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