Java Mummy Naturally Attracts Pretty Women
Here Come The Mummies return to Chattanooga this Thursday night at Track 29 for the big New Year’s Eve celebration and what will be Java Mummy’s last show with the band. I’ll miss Java. He was the only one of the band that talked. The rest just mumble and grunt, but Java can actually carry on a conversation, although sometimes it is a bit weird and often turns dirty. He is the percussion player and nut in the band.
I once rifled through his belongings back stage while they were playing their set, hoping to find out more about the strange fellow everyone knows as Java. All I found was a driver’s license, made of some sort of stone, signed by a guy named Delbert the Pharaoh. The name on the license - Java and some weird last name that was in Hieroglyphics, followed by some sort of notation limiting him driving a cart, pulled by no more than one camel. That seemed odd to me, as he is surely capable of driving a two camel cart.
I took Java to lunch one time, and despite a lot of stares from the other customers, he was quite the gentleman while dining. He insisted on ordering Nile River Catfish, but finally settled for some regular catfish. We actually had a wonderful time until he started carrying on with a couple of the pretty lady customers there. We were asked to leave, but not before he pulled out some Here Come The Mummies G-strings and presented them to the female servers and guests.
In case you are wondering, Java won’t be leaving to join another band. He is already with the best band in the world. No, he will be joining the corporate world. That alone will be strange – a mummy working amongst people in business suits. I wish him well and look forward to being at his last show this Thursday. Tickets are still available at the time of this posting at www.track29.co.
The opening band for New Year's Eve isn't a slouch, either. The Power Players Show Band opens for Here Come the Mummies, as they have done several times before. And yes, the Power Players set is included in your ticket price!
Bob Payne is the entertainment editor for the Chattanoogan.com and talent/production assistant at Friends Of The Festival. Email Bob Payne at davrik@aol.com or www.facebook.com/davrik2000.
Bob Payne